eeyore

2011-04-07T02:00:00.002+08:00

It has been so long since..........

I last blogged.

I last allowed myself to act like a 5 year old child, throwing silly tantrums and all.

I never felt that becoming a Vi was the worst decision in my life, until now.

I really wanted to know if those words you spoke were what you really meant.

No wait, I'm so sick of us, having to act as if we're having a secret affair, and being so ashamed that we can't even mention each other's names out loud without acting like we've committed murder. Fuck. Yeah, actually in some sense, I'm totally the third party. The third party who messed everything up.

This however, only in a friend-friend context.

Yeah, I'm sick of it all.

Coming back to the Vi bit, fuck, sometimes people have to get their facts right first.

Don't be so fucking quick to jump to conclusion can?? I don't feel like I need to explain anything to anyone, but that was the last straw.

I know. I'm useless. I don't contribute. What the fuck am I a Vi for then right?

What the fuck. Do you all have any idea what Vi means? It means Volunteer Instructor. VOLUNTEER right? It doesn't mean I have to slog my ass out for it. I volunteer my time. I volunteer my expertise. I volunteer to help out. Is it that hard to fucking understand?

Back then,

70% - Reluctant

30% - I should just do it, since I've been in RC for my whole life

Then people made the percentages change.

'Aiya, just join lah, if you don't like or got no time, later then say. You can MIA one what, just join lah. Join lah. Okay? '

'Fucking not okay' is what I should have said back then. Damn stupid. I feel damn stupid now.

'How to quit ah?'

& with regards to additions on my body, does that make me any different from who I am? I am still the same fucking person all of you know. What's so hard to accept? You knew me first before my additions. YOU KNEW me FIRST.

2009-11-09T22:10:00.003+08:00

I really don't know why I'm feeling what I'm feeling right now. Its like, the sudden emptiness; a huge hole that I've been sucked into temporarily.

It's been a real long time since I felt this way, not to mention, I don't really like this feeling.

I kinda wish that there's something I can hold onto right now, maybe someone? Or something? Anything. There used to be people I could call straightaway - hence erasing this feeling totally, now, I'm not sure. Everyone seems to be caught up in their own lives - which IS of course, the correct way. Things change, & people move on. But then sometimes, I just want to stand still. Will there be anyone left in my radius?

2009-10-01T20:11:00.004+08:00

"Sometimes I try so hard, but all I get is rejection from you. I give up, okay?"

I say this to myself everytime things do not work out, but I have never given up. And thing is, most of the time, I don't know what I've done wrong.

Now: Fine, suit yourself. I'm not going to be the only one that is giving. You have to do your part for things to work. But know that I'll still be here, as I always foolishly am.

2009-09-27T01:48:00.004+08:00

My new obsession. Macarons, not MacaroOns. :D

2009-08-11T01:31:00.005+08:00

Having said that, I am aware of the love I'm still showered with by my family and friends (fivesome&allwhocelebratedmybdaywithmetoday). It was a wonderful birthday this year, though miles apart from the one I had in sec 3 though I foolishly returned a present that I had not even taken a glance at. My family brought me to Swensens for ice-cream buffet, & friends celebrated for me at Marina Barrage. A happy 17th, and I have lots of people to thank for their bday wishes. Its not gonna be a public mention, but I definitely have all your names remembered.

Thanks again, fivesome, for setting the sky-high benchmark with regards to what friendship could be. Though we seem to be drifting, I'm glad that we still take each others special day into serious consideration. If its possible, I'd like to be there for everyone of you, just like how you've been there for me.

Could you let me into your world again? Like how you did when we were in sec 1?
& could we be what we used to be, in sec 3? When we indulged in playful abandon?

2009-08-11T00:50:00.003+08:00

I remember, it was not long ago that I still had the burning passion to blog. Though I sieved my words thoroughly before publishing a post, at least I knew I had put down my words somewhere. But now, I don't get the feeling to blog anymore. Because life is just life. When I wake up in the morning, I have nothing to look forward to - nothing.

In Amkss, I would spring out of bed whenever I had to wake up earlier for RC related stuffs, no matter how tired I was. In Ijc, I would get out of bed enthusiastically for the thought of friends kept me going, despite the dreadful lessons and ahem, teachers.

Now in SP, though I have more freedom, and am in the course I tried so hard to get in for, life feels empty. For the people whom I have met, can never be compared to those of previous months and years. Say perhaps its because I am afterall in, a drama course, & drama ppl tend to be different from others, in the sense that everything to them, is but drama. Life's drama. We are the actors. That is why, I don't get to see the real 'them'. They are actors, they act. I don't know when to trust, nor who to trust. How I miss 0924A, where everyone is real. Everyone is sensitive; I feel comfortable with them. They give me everything that I can offer them in return. But its now gone; then I ask myself, if I had made the right decision to leave?

Words can't express how much I miss them, and neither can miles, the distance we have already drifted. I am sad, but things are what they are now b'cus of the decisions I made. Its no one's fault; just a cruel joke heaven plays occassionally for humour. I don't wish to sound pathetic, but every day of my poly life I tell myself, "Tmr'll be a better day". Who am I trying to kid?

Claire's dealt me a big blow. I feel dumb because I do not know how to rebutt her sacarsm. I don't deny that she makes me feel small, I'm just mad as I'm not able to protect myself in a sacarstic return. What terrible shame, that I left her step all over me, flattening me into nothing more than a pancake; whilst I wasted precious seconds trying to process her sacarsm. Shame.

"I wish... the world was full of pink bunny rabbits."

2009-06-10T17:19:00.003+08:00

Had floorball on Monday, it was physical trng & now my whole body's aching. It was fun though, reminded me of the floorball trng in NP(:

Yesterday was spent with SP rchn. Interaction then BBQ. Met new ppl, and we talked a lil' while BBQ-ing for the guys! Then Manwei taught us how to make honey hotdogs. While we were talking, both Manwei and Jessie randomly said I look like I'm from Basketball. Cool huh. =D I went home after the BBQ but the rest stayed the night. Then today we climbed Bukit Timah, yes with my muscle ache, but it was good bonding! Since 4 of the Year 1s including me used to be from RC, with one now a VI, we could say cheers and talk about experiences in sec sch while climbing those torturous steps. At least we have a common topic is what I'm saying:D

Then at the summit, we saw a couple having lunch(homemade!). They were so sweet, I couldn't help but comment to M and J. Manwei asked if i'm jealous, of course I am! HAHA, well too bad luh, I'll just have to wait. =( We returned to SP after a 'bonding' session up at the summit.

Digressing; have I mentioned that I have a 1000 word AD essay and a lifespan Psych presentation to complete? Dang, and time flies when its the holidays! I can't wait for the movie tmr!

Okay, this is a random & incoherent post. Till I blog again, tata:D

2009-06-07T10:25:00.007+08:00

I felt proud, ecstatic even to watch you girls take over. Ask me why, when it should by right no longer matter because I'm just a senior. But I couldn't; couldn't just let this moment sink in, nor the reality that I became a senior a year ago. My thoughts were just hauled away to the times when we had so much laughter, & tears- in the past. Was it just me, who foolishly still remembers these memories?

Memories of you girls holding coke bottles running after us, till you got caught; & the last trng before our POP when Qh & I ran away, you girls gave chase when we thought you wouldn't; & the time we went to sumo house then to mine, those kept playing in my mind, exactly what I told you; cause you asked, you bothered & cared. Then the KFC visits? Were we the only ones who remembered? How we made so much noise, oblivious to the other customers, playing amongst ourselves?

& most recently when you 2 came over for 'PT', again, was I the only who remembers? It was the growing process, the metamorphosis like caterpillar to butterfly; those good & bad times that we got over together that I cherish so much, unable to let go. I hate myself for not letting go. I want to forget, to move on like how everyone else does. But it just wasn't in me to forget, & it isn't in me now nor in the future to forget. Whilst standing where I was yesterday, my eyes inadvertently marked out the routes we took to run away from you girls, as well as the places in this beloved school that means so much. Tell me I'm mad, tell me I'm crazy; but I was just reminiscing, you can't blame me for that. It felt so good after my episode, I felt relieved; relieved that I have let everything out, though the memories still stays crystal clear in my messed-up brain, I promise to try not to let them hurt anymore.

2009-06-04T22:31:00.008+08:00

AWW, sorry blog, for abandoning you! (:
Well, I'm back. Hmm, though its random but I do want to post about IJ.
A few nights ago, whilst lying in bed, thoughts of IJ just flashed by. Like literally!
I could see every part of IJ crytal-clearly.

I pictured the hall, the staircases, the bookshop, the canteen, the LTs, the field, the route I took with Xx on the first day of school, the route I took when I got locked out of both side gates, the toilet where Laysee & I ran to to hide from the water bombs. The classrooms, & how I panicked when I couldn't find the class I was supposed to go to on the first day of school yet had no classmate's number..The library; the horrid room where we did our GP podcast, where we had minor fights over laptop issues & got scolded by Ms Maxine.

& of course, CCA day, when we went to the DJ room for the first time, in the library. The first time I met you, your warm touch as you led me to look for JinXiang, the !@#$% guy who attacked Laysee & I in the FEMALE bathroom! Then coincidentally you were Pizza's GL, & you remembered me from CCA day! I was elated. I interviewed & got into exco, like you. Acquaintances; but it was meant to be more, just that I left.

Then there was the huge LT, where we had Maths and Chinese & the LT we go to for Lit.
Gosh, & the piano, at the backstage of the hall and the gallery where we witnessed the receiving of A lvl Chinese results. She cried buckets of joyous tears for her A; silently we cried together with her. Also not forgetting the Bio classroom, where I spent half the time dozing off in the afternoon heat to the lull of Ms Malini's words. Beside it was the track, where we had PE & we would run together. Lily! (: The high jumps and the long jumps, with the cool Ms Agnes:D & horrible Ms AshleyD:

& outside the staffroom, CALVIN & YB.(aww, I miss you CALVIN!:D) & it was where we used to have Econs test with Ms Tan Tong Yin. Now she's also left IJ...to further her studies I think.

Everything's changed, perhaps only Syanni's laughter remains? LOL, its contagious. But I miss it, miss them. However all its gonna be is a distant memory, fading as time goes...

2009-05-01T00:18:00.006+08:00

Freak. I realised I haven't blogged since Poly started. Well y'know, life has been so awesome cause of the timetable and the friends(: woohoo! Imagine how I'd be slogging my guts out if I were still in IJC;D Haha, but of course there are still things/people I miss in IJC luh.

However, lessons in poly are difficult, especially drama and voice. When almost everyone else in your class has drama background and you don't, it is inevitable that you'd freak out; well, just a little bit. Words of encouragement came pouring in after the first Claire Devine's lesson on voice; like how it takes time to build up on your confidence during public speaking, and how they'd help me pull through. Aww, so sweet(:

I'm now into week 2 of school, & definitely enjoying Hans Lee's classes on introduction to Psychology. It is tough lugging my 2kg laptop as well as the equally heavy Psychology textbook to school a few days of the week, but scarily, I am thankful for the free muscle-toning exercise.

Oh &&, it is interesting how there are jamming studios, karaoke rooms, cafes, gyms, swimming pools, 6 foodcourts and tons of other facilities open for us to use. Envision the huge campus; walking from CASS to perhaps, CLS, could be 1.6km? Haha, I don't know if I'm exaggerating, but in short, it would be considered exercise to walk from east to west of the campus. Cool huh, so not. That's because of the current temperature changes which produces sweltering heat waves and leaves everyone feeling annoyed.

Okay, uhhm, digressing, I hope I can meet up with the 4 soon. Its been a loooooooooong time alr.

&&& I shall continue with my journals. Cya.(:

Its ironic how I miss them even though I've interacted with them only for a day during NMA camp. I'm glad I didn't skip camp to go for Barrie's b'day though I missed out on some fun; & Barrie, your present's still with me!

When will I get to see you again??

2009-04-09T22:56:00.002+08:00

Y'know what, I very much feel like crap now as well, not to mention, on the verge of pathetic tears. Dang. Please ask me why I've become such an asshole, or to a large extent, an insecure freak since I've left school. Truthfully, I really don't know why; which sucks.

I've come to realise I'm getting distant from the things or people I'm so used to. Its was my wont to just type out a message and send it to ____ without reviewing it. But now, I review my message 2 or 3 times before sending it out. It was my wont to ask anything, personal or whatever to ________ anytime, and get an honest & prompt reply. Now, I don't dare to anymore. There's so much more that I'm used to...but much more that I'll have to get used to as people have changed.

That feeling, it is incessantly lingering in my gut. Like a benign tumour; its not detrimental, however it just gallingly causes a significant amount of pain. Ouch. Ooh well, I guess that's how I feel now.

And and, I'm not being 'emo' okay. I'm just, uhhh, exasperated.

2009-03-29T01:38:00.003+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54c-BAZ3MOo

PLEASE VIEW!! It is an excellent video, definitely worth your 5 minutes.

Great job you girls. You did yourselves proud, as well as the whole unit proud. Champion is what you deserve. (:

2009-03-27T00:22:00.002+08:00

Kinda depressed at like, 1 am. Why? Cause I feel disregarded. Perhaps I expect too much, too much from people,-mere people whom I've barely known for less than 2 months. I suppose I expected way more. I guess their pernicious words were just meant as a slight joke to brighten up their insipid lives. Y'know, Jc students currently have no life-s. But I have a life, I'm now a Poly student. Can't you see I can't take such jokes? Can't you see how much it all means to me? Can't you see each word of yours cleaving through this frangible heart of mine! No, you can't. You're blinded by the callous Math, insensitive Geography, uncaring Literature, obdurate Economics, merciless GP, pitiless Chinese and savage PW.

Darn, I am just matter-of-factly debating with myself at this timely hour. I should to sleep.

2009-03-22T22:11:00.002+08:00

Natasha's leaving IJC with me(: though we're going to different poly-s.

2009-03-20T20:38:00.005+08:00

I'm leaving ___. Tough decision, afterall I feel the slightest bit attached to ___ alr; money aside. Our disparate clique, the relevant teachers and the same names. I think I might just miss them. A single tear? It shouldn't be, we're not that close.

A.QH

No more Chinese podcasts. No more 800 word GP essays. No more incomprehendable Math sequences&series. No more too shorts for Literature compare&contrast. No more elasticity for the dreadful Econs. No more PW with S's favourite Mr SeeTho. Lastly, no more PE's hate Ashley campaign.

2009-03-08T16:53:00.005+08:00

I suddenly realised I'm kinda incorporating literature into my entries! I'm elated yo! Haha, can you see the personification, metaphors and similes??? And of course, IMAGERY!

I have to admit, literature really rocks. I love Professor Brenda Flanagan lots and lots! She was so confident, and absolutely calm even when faced with like 100 IJC lit students. I would have trembled, and my words would crumble if I were standing where she stood. I am inspired. (:

2009-03-08T15:06:00.009+08:00

NMA camp, a little bit of a disaster. Hmm, I feel really apologetic towards those GLs, to dampen their high spirits at that point of time. My back is still killin' me, but it ain't their fault. It just got worse after desperately trying to steer clear of the impending avalanche of waterbombs. I literally stuck to the sides of the cubicle, almost like a starfish; while hearing Laysee boldly challenge them to stop.

I deduce this incident plunged both victim and attacker into deep reflection of each's actions, & Guilt struck each of us like a bullet to the brain.

I sat in sheer silence on the canteen bench, till Syanni started out with her jokes that left us gasping for air(-->Laysee). Afterwards, it was back to silence. Everyone was dead tired by then, & we could feel this massive strain on our muscles. Lily and I missed dinner, & careful not to disturb the rest, we sat together at one table; our heads pressed into our elbows. Silence.

When dinner was over, there was area cleaning. Then we proceeded to lt2 for a debrief, before we were dismissed. Sighh, but the opportunity cost of going for this disastrous NMA camp was Barrie's 17th birthday 'bash'? Calvin made it sound so great. However I don't regret meeting new friends in NMA as well. (: & meeting the 'same names' made NMA camp even more worth it.

Samantha-Samantha. Qianhui-Qianhui. Vanessa-Vanessa.

And and, Vanessa and her friend were nice enough to busy themselves with looking for the first aid kit; I needed the deep heat rub for my aching back. It was kinda ironic to see them telling me my condition when I'm a first-aider myself, who used to administer treatment to casualties like myself. However, regardless of that, thanks(: (oh, but its not like they're going to see this) Haha.

I can't help but be sensitive to their stares. I'm unsure if its because of what they saw, perhaps their impression of me? I try so hard not to let it bother me, but I just can't. I keep probing, probing into the depths of their mind, just to figure out their thoughts. Its blank. I dig deeper, but their thoughts remain invisible to me.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY YIFANG, JULIAN & BARRIE.

I MISS AMKSIANS SO MUCH.

2009-03-02T23:00:00.002+08:00

I'm no longer deprived of my MOTIVATION! Omg, I'm ecstatic, overwhelmed.

:DDDDDDDDDDD

2009-02-28T23:39:00.003+08:00

Omg, and Syanni's irritating me now. I should have got a microphone attached to my lappy so I can actually rebutt her! Haha, Syanni, just you wait, I'll get a mic soon! :D

2009-02-28T22:46:00.004+08:00

Its a few more weeks into school. Met new people, I guess they're all nice. Haha, & I'm supposed to blog about my class. Well, teachers are generally nice, and kind, perhaps with the exception of PE teachers. Cough COUGH *Ms Ashley* Okay, yea, and projects are demanding; Lily would understand! (:

Oh and, I think I do look forward to going to school every morning, somewhat because there's motivation!! Ahem, but Shermaine doesn't allow me my motivation. Lol, kidding. Hmm, also because in IJ, lectures are carried out in lecture theatres and tutorials in classrooms, so we do abit of walking in between lessons, unlike in amkss, where we sit on the same seat the whole day, in the same boring classroom, unless there's like math or chinese; I tend to be more awake after the changing of rooms in IJ. I admit that I still doze of sometimes, cause the air conditioning in LTs is practically coaxing me to sleep.

And and, believe it or not, my maths teacher is, MR ANG. But definitely, I prefer Mrs Ang more. (((: Also, I take LITERATURE. Surprising huh, haha, but its kinda
fun, though complex-think (Ms Edwards).

Okay, I'm like so bored now. I have tutorials pilling up, but they're just so boring, I don't feel like touching them any time now. Oops. I need motivation la! (: I just wish I have the courage to ask. Boo.

2009-02-15T15:13:00.003+08:00

Okay, so its been 2 weeks in Innova. I suppose I'm starting to get used to Jc life. I guess it'd take me a long time to ever find someone I can open myself up to. For now, its sufficient to have good buddies like calvin, yongbang and xx.(: Thanks guys, esp yb, for teaching me tutorial qns that I don't know how to do & for getting the 2 seaweed packets(which costs $3), out of the senseless machine:D 2 years ain't enough for both friendship and studies. I guess in Jc it'd be study all the way then. Hopefully along the way, I'll still be able to pick up a few friendships that I'll cherish very much; just like Sam, Qh, Yf & Edna. (:

Okay, so went to Fairfield Methodist for FDC'o9. The squads performed, and I'm really proud of amkss RCY! You guys tried your best, so don't worry about the mistakes made. The bangings showed significant improvement from normal trngs, and all of you looked really smart. Congrats to all of you for achieving 2nd runner up in North District, and top 12 at National level! Adding to the list of achievements, is AMKSS RCY getting GOLD for Excellence Unit Award(EUA). Celebrations will be next week, so I hope I can make it. Oh ya, and I saw someone that looked exactly like Matthew at Fairfield! & I kept bugging Edna about it. Haha.

So, that's about it for this post. I doubt I'll be blogging anytime soon due to my hectic Jc class timetable, which is obviously gonna kill me. Yea, so HAPPY early 17th BIRTHDAY Edna!

2009-02-03T21:20:00.003+08:00

2nd day at Innova.
Its been hell la, literally, to listen to the principal speak for hours at a go.
My legs were kinda rotting already, and I got reaaally restless. The Ogls were nice, no doubt, however it feels as if we were being treated as sec 1s. This 2 days(orientation for JC1s), apart from subject, cca and principal talks, we were doing cheers and games, so similar to UG. However, I have got so used to leading, that I simply forgot how to be the follower; that during cheers and mass dance I looked like a complete asshole. You see, I just didn't know how to enthu like how I used to. Boo. I know its a baaad habit, & with my standard -.- face, walau, I'm like the most stuck-up/dao-er/loser/idiot in my grp, Farmiz(Gerizeco). See, Innova comes up with such cheeem names that until now, I don't even know how to pronounce my grp name. Sighh. I hope tmr will be a better day, where somehow I can don't be so dao & make more friends. Okay, I hope even more that my appeal to Ngee Ann's PCS is successful.
And lastly, here's wishing everyone that's appealing good luck!

2009-01-31T16:28:00.012+08:00

Steamboat(reunion dinner)

:DDD

2009-01-31T15:37:00.026+08:00

2/2o6 chalet((((:

Chalet was quite a success. Biggest thanks to Sam:D & the night cycling rocks big time. We cycled from Aloha Loyang to Changi Village, I think we cycled for about 5 hours straight! Also, the meals were really good, for we all helped to prepare them:DD More chalets must come!

2009-01-31T14:55:00.018+08:00

When we were young

Grad night bear!

Whale? :D

Thanks to the Sony Alpha 300((:

2009-01-27T01:04:00.002+08:00

Oh and I think I'm being really mean to those who asks me about my results. I apologise if I ever sounded mean when I reply or don't reply your enquiries. This is because, I did super badly. Like bad enough, cause my l1r5 = my register number. So, sorry!!

2009-01-14T18:51:00.003+08:00

This blog can go rot for all I care! Man, I've neglected this blog for like so long, and so many things have since happened. Like take for example kbox, 2/2 chalet, and steamboat reunion with fellow amksians. & the one really bad thing that happened, something which I don't have a clue how to handle. I guess it'll mark the end of our friendship, oh well...

However on the brighter side, I'm playing mahjong almost everyday; its CNY!(:
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

And and, I'm kinda curious to know which poly I'll be posted to. NP or SP? New school, new life.
Brilliant. No more looking back, maybe I won't be so silly to make the same mistakes again.

So, everyone enjoy your CNY, and for those who still have school, good luck and study hard! Heh(:

2009-01-01T16:37:00.023+08:00

Winny's missing.

Vivian, don't am chio!

Aeroplane?

When there's food, there's people! Thanks Ms Chan for the snacks. ((:

p.s Ma'am Joanne took most of the photos! Haha don't kill us, please.

2009-01-01T15:39:00.018+08:00

Super sinful Christmas goodies! :/

2009-01-01T15:06:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow sch's re-opening! The holidays sorta just flew by, & its like 2009 alr.
Counted down to 2009 with family friends, but I kinda wanted to join the rest
at East Coast. Ah nvm, at least I got to talk to them. Hah.
Its like 11 more days to results, and I can't help but countdown to it. Man, the
anticipation is killing me.

Results aside, I've finally transferred the pictures from my Sony alpha 300, & they are
like so clear. (((: They'll be posted in the next entry.

2008-12-26T23:00:00.002+08:00

Man, my blog's seriously rotting but I'm just too lazy to update. =/
Actually there's nothing much to post about, only that I've got my act-pro cam.
Hah, I feel really out of touch with some ppl now, most probably because I haven't
been attending all the gatherings etc.

Hmm, life after Os is kinda terrible, even though I have all the time in the world.
Its funny that I keep thinking of how I used to sleep in Chemistry class, or Physics
class, now that I have time, but in those classes, how I hoped lessons would be over soon.
Ironic. Okay whatever, err & I also can't stop thinking about 12 jan, or is it 15 jan. Damn,
how scary it would be to see unexpectedly-horrible results.

Err okay this post is getting nowhere, I shall.. uhh wait till there's something worth to
post. Till then, Merry Christmas and happy holidays. (:

2008-11-23T20:50:00.022+08:00

O levels are finally over & I'm back! :) After O levels, everyone was like busy preparing for grad night. The feeling of being able to shop freely for our stuff was kinda nice, like we had all the time in the world, but at some point of time, it got a little bit boring. Heh, busy people might kill me.

Then time passed quick, and grad night was finally here! Lots of pics were taken and everyone looked positively stunning! All the hunks and babes. :D:D

2/2 o6, with some ppl missing.

4/3 o8

Mrs Chan and the 4 of us(:

Uhh, Ms Low and the 5 of us(:

I shan't show the jing dian photo!! (cause I look bad in it) Bleh! Hahaha. & I didn't bring any camera to take photo with others!

Hmm, & there's some photos that were taken during graduation assembly, but due to the nearing O lvls, I didn't post them. So here they are,

2/2o6 family!
4/3 girls!

Uhhm, feel your goosebumps?(:
Oh, this was so touching. I couldn't help but tear.=(
Hmmm...
Us! In the hall during grad assembly.
Oops!! (:
Cynthia! (:
Ms Low and the 2/2 guys
Look at my constipated face! (Sam's enjoying it!! Haha)
Ms Low & the 5 of us.

Okay, that's all for today. FYI, I'm in Malaysia after travelling around 7 hours by car from home in Spore. (:

2008-10-10T23:39:00.002+08:00

Its farewell assembly today. 4 years in this school, & its finally our turn. I must admit I was really shocked when I was dragged down all the way from the second level by Sam and Yingxin to meet Cheryl and Jacquelyn, seniors that we sent off during graduation assembly 2 years ago. It really brought back memories. Thanks for the chocolates! (:

The form teachers sang 'My wish', I suppose you could say they sang it from the bottom of their hearts, which made the song even more real. Most students were touched I think, save for Qh(as always - so unfeeling, haha kiddin').

I was definitely reminded of the farewell assembly last year, & when we walked the red carpet to exit, gosh, the stupid tears kept flowing. I fumbled with the cards I wanted to give the teachers, haha & I was so afraid that my hands would tremble and I would drop the stack of cards. The line of students moved slowly, because they were all busy hugging the teachers for the last time. Seeing the teachers' cry, I reckon, made lots of ppl cry too. Haha, but it was definitely comforting to know they would miss us. Oh and I can't believe I hugged Mr Siva. Haha he hugged all the Ug ppl I think.

Then outside the hall, the graduands gathered, & we were met with the beloved sec 2s. I'm elated that they actually took the effort to prepare gifts for us, and come to school just to see us. Thank you Vivian for the cheesecake, I know I still owe you mudpie. (: Then I think I practically went around hugging people. And PinLiang was definitely the jing dian, he went around hugging the 2/2o6 guys, and then he cried! Pinliang leh! Its so surprising, haha, because normally he'd be going around bullying people. (: Then afterwards was phototaking time. Everyone just went around with their cameras & like grabbed anyone they see to take photos with.

Later on, we proceeded to KFC, our usual haunt, for dinner. Julian came along too! Haha, that's rare. Must be because of you-know-who. Ehehe.

Today, a momentous day, I think I won't ever forget. Especially that hug. (Ehehe, Pinliang, its not yours! Haha)

Surprisingly, this post isn't that that emo. In fact, its quite cheery. Okay I shall continue with an emo post the next time I blog. (:

2008-10-04T23:45:00.002+08:00

Gosh, its been..let me see..more than a month since my last post. Anyway its one more week to farewell assembly, that's fast, huh. Considering the fact that 1 year ago, I'd just attended my seniors'. And also, in 2 weeks time, its O levels! (uhh wow?). There's no more 'oh aiya we still have 3 more chances..2 more chances..', this is the last chance. Oh well, prelim results weren't great, but there's a significant improvement from common test. So let's just hope the plane flying to Cambridge with our O lvls exam scripts don't crash or anything.

My life's now a bore, so there's nothing to post about. Perhaps after Os, I'd be flooding my blog with posts again. I can't wait! (:

2008-09-01T17:11:00.000+08:00

天使的烙印主题曲
吕婉嘉 - 就现在

也许是你忘记等待
还是逃避我们的未来
每一次都是我忍住泪然后离开
不用说我都已明白
爱情不容需三个人存在
我只是不够他对你依赖

我还是不明白最简单的对白
你都说的那么让人觉得不自在
到头来我竟然只剩下一片空白

I will be fine
我知道这一切是命运安排
我会明白
回忆只会让人重复受伤害
I won’t cry
如果泪才学会看清楚未来
把你放开耿耿于怀不对你期待
就现在

2008-09-01T00:11:00.000+08:00

What if someone really close to you goes away?
Will you let him/her just slip away?
Even if its only in your dreams?

2008-08-23T01:13:00.000+08:00

Just a short post; I must control the strong urge to blog.
Haha, & so, prelims have officially started and its like 58
days to O levels.

I want to comment about my performance for the first 2
days of the prelims - first 4 papers. I seriously think I
screwed up all of them. Especially the English paper 1.
I was like in tremendous discomfort la! The pain disabled
me to fully concentrate. Man, I think I'll be failing English
again. I think I'm so disadvantaged! & Mrs Ismail set a
killer paper for Geography, and I don't have much
common sense, so I couldn't crap out perfect answers
for her paper. Sigh.

Oh and, Mrs Ang has been very nice to patiently teach me
Maths. I think I'll be the death of her, cause you see, I
take a superbly long time to absorb things. Anyway, thank
you Mrs Ang! (awwwww..) erm, but seriously. Haha.

I can't wait for prelims to be over.

2008-08-09T22:18:00.000+08:00

The soothing talk at Coffee Bean was really great. Umm, though of course I felt kinda guilty thinking about the comments I made & not forgetting the facial expressions I portrayed then, as I made my way home. Yesterday would be another indelible memory.

We were able to sit down, the 7 & the usual 4 at kfc TOGETHER. Have I mentioned before, that 7 is my favourite number? Anyway, it was really nice to be able to do that again. To literally 'bitch' around & have quite a number of ppl staring at us etc. I wonder when the next time will be. It was really interesting to have Pearlyn sitting beside me, hahaha, & I outraged her modesty. Eheh, oops. & Vivian actually had gastric. Haha, I can't believe her reaction to gastric would be like that. x_x heh, oops again. & after we left kfc, we went to hub supposedly to get a present. After getting it, we settled at Coffee Bean, because we craved for their cakes. Ended up, we talked for around 4 hours. Weird huh, not to mention that prelims are in another........12 days.

Anyway, enough about prelims. Oh, I went jogging today, of course, to try and erase ystd's troubles. Omg, but it didn't work. I'm still as bothered by it as yesterday. & of course, by ignoring ** yesterday, did not mean I'll ignore ** today. & I didn't; which sucks. Because I always fail when I say I'll ignore someone or something. Sighh. Okay, I shall try to get over it. I suppose, I will in a few days time.

Lastly, Happy National Day. & happy birthday xiuxian.

2008-08-08T22:39:00.000+08:00

Okay, this is really insane. Or rather, I'm going insane.
Sort of exploded at kfc. Told them how I was feeling, though
of course I knew they would never comprehend it the way
I did. Afterall, we all view things from different perspectives.

After venting it out at kfc, I'm still feeling really sore
about it, so I'm seeing the need to reiterate my point
by typing this post. Not to mention, I feel the strong
urge to bang my fists against the wall.

I'm perplexed. I'm irate! Gosh, I totally do not comprehend
why people can dislike others so much, when they don't
even know the other party! What makes things even
more sore is, that I really regard both parties as great
friends. ABCDEFG.

On top of that, I'm feeling utterly disgusted by myself
as my impression of a certain someone has been
wavered! I don't believe this myself. I think I suck.
Boo. =(

Though it might seem as an issue which you would
dismiss it oh-so-easily, but somehow I'm superbly
bothered by it!
Gaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!

2008-07-27T22:41:00.000+08:00

'I like the word evil. Scramble it a little, and you get vile and live. Good, on the other hand, is just a command to go do.'

- Jodi Picoult

& I am evil. (:

2008-07-27T22:20:00.000+08:00

Truth is, I haven't been studying much, of late. I suppose I can't expect that great a result since I haven't put in my best.

Anyway, seeing how others get so busy with both CCA and studies really touches a raw nerve. Because at this time, last year, I wasn't even that busy at all.

I admire how others are able to so perfectly pen down their thoughts and feelings, to be able to describe everything to its minute detail, something that I am never able to do. Sometimes, I really want to find the right word to describe myself at that very moment in time, but always fail to do so. & all around me I see people that are so blessed, that have everything go their way; and then I see many others that are ill-fated, that nothing goes their way. I wonder which category I belong to.

I'm always at the halfway mark. Studies. CCA. Sports. Piano. Even Friends and Happiness, I'm always only halfway there. Sometimes, I envisage myself at the opposite end of the globe, living a life totally different from what I'm having now. Not that I'm being emotional (emo), and fyi I really detest the word 'emo', but its good to imagine. Damn. Now even I'm unsure of my point. I keep digressing. Sighhhh.

I just want the sec 3 life back. Because then, days go on without me being constantly fearing about what happens next etc. At least I was entitled to find solace in my CCA, whenever I was upset. Oh well, nevermind.

2008-07-20T15:15:00.001+08:00

Watching intently as the rain drops fell yesterday, I finally took time to sort out my incoherent mind. Everything was jumbled up, & for a moment I couldn't remember what I was doing in school in the first place. I realised, with the guidance of a special someone, that everyone does things for a reason. Not that I didn't know that before, but now I really know. Perhaps I was selfish, to not say it was my fault; to not tell them I had contributed to the idea. What had happened? What had gone through the minds of the ones we'd groomed? They suddenly seemed so different, so distant, so complex.

I couldn't comprehend, why they'd become like this or why they had entertained such thoughts. I couldn't fathom, why we're totally pushed aside or why we weren't entitled to know even just that little bit. I couldn't decipher, who had been in the wrong or why they're upset. I couldn't perceive, what was more important than the matter they had at hand. I just couldn't.

When it was around this time last year, we weren't like this. I remembered it was damn hard for us, but yesterday I realised, it might be harder for you. Now you see why we can't sign the form? Now you see why we might never be able to don on that white long-sleeved top and white skirt? Now you see why, because there's a communication problem. Even before we leave the school we have this problem. What happens after we leave?

Some are still stuck back in time. They keep digging up the past. Why repeat it when everyone's fine? Perhaps you want me to never talk to you again? You're unfathomable, just like I am to you. I missed that friendship once, but after yesterday passed, I am missing it no more. You guess why. I'd put it behind, & tried ways and means to help you too, but you chose yesterday, when I was all messed up to bring it up again. You hurt, but is it only you? You were the one who dug up all the miserable contents. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY!

Currently, I still holding back, because I'm sieving my words. Afterall, others might be reading this, & I'm mindful of the impact it may cause if I phrase my words incorrectly.

Oh well, on a slightly happier note, I had one of the most soothing talks with Qh ystd. Man, that setting we had ystd might never come again!! A slight breeze, quiescent surroundings and an interesting topic at hand. Oh and not forgetting the background music coming from Pierce sec supposedly; everything blended together to grant us the perfect place for a light-hearted chat.

Also, it was Goh Yilin's birthday, they celebrated at drivethrough Mac. Some fantastic people chose our seat outdoors, you see, drivethrough Mac provides outdoor shelters where people can dine in as well. (: Not that dining outdoors is a bad idea, just that there's this irksome cat which freaks most of the girls at out table out. Especially Qh, & what made me start to laugh was her distinguished fear for that cat. I know I wasn't being nice, but a girl of 170++cm being afraid of a tiny, furry, cute cat and jumping about in fear was really comical. It was the first time Edna finished her meal before Qh, because Qh was busy avoiding the cat. Qh consumed her meal on tenterhooks as she kept an eagle's view of any approaching cat. Winny saved the 'damsel' in distress by carrying the cat more than once, out of our dining area.

After dinner, people took turns to produce jokes for entertainment, only that not all were funny. It wasn't till Vivian and Kewei left that Vivien started to tell her supernatural stories. It freaked most of us out when Yilin suddenly rose from her seat & screamed, like really screamed. However, turns out that it was just her thoughts making her afraid. We all left soon after, and Pearlyn grabbed my arm tightly as we proceeded to our bus stops.

That's basically all of yesterday. Happy birthday Yilin.

2008-07-13T22:47:00.000+08:00

Ultimately, its still the old days that matters most. That pang of nostalgia hit me real hard during awards night. Though this photo is incomplete, I have that feeling it will never be possible to make it complete again.

Okay, so awards night didn't go as smoothly, (to put it bluntly), because there were considerably many cock-ups. Perhaps it was too last minute due to the recent NOMAD; anyway, it was kinda hilarious to actually see how people around me got anxious when it was almost their turn to receive their awards. Haha, that's because when you receive your award, a screen bearing your Sec 1 photo will be put up. & sad to say, that photo of mine wasn't at all cute or innocent. It just looked dumb. =( Still, I was positive that seeing these photos brought smiles and laughter to everyone in the hall as we reminisced our Sec 1 days. It sorta lightened up the atmosphere in the hall.

After the whole event was over, we proceeded downstairs to slack and chit-chat; so different from last year, or year before, where we would be the ones clearing up the hall & being labelled the saikang warriors. I can't deny that I miss those days, but its time to let go. The Ugians gathered for photos, and the girls clamoured to take photos with the guys! Haha. An interesting sight, I'm glad to say.

Oh, so that's all for award's night that I can think of. I shall end with a last picture.

2008-07-10T21:33:00.000+08:00

As I said, people have their limits. & at times, their close
friends or buddies might just unknowingly cross the
boundaries. Just a mere sentence might spark unhappiness.

Perhaps everyone should learn to give each other space.
Just some cooling-down time for things to settle a lil' bit.

Aside from generalising, I suppose the past few days I
have been stoical to the happenings around me, save for
the fact that I still chatter alot, but of course, mostly to
my maths partner. I presume I have left numerous people
around me perplexed at my abstruse behaviour; its
unintentional, I'm serious.

Another lingering occurrence is the walk up the arduous
8 flights of stairs from the ground floor to 4/3. At
that time, it really wouldn't have hurt if someone could
have just voiced out a word or something; not only because
it was a terribly awkward silence, but also because it was
unprecendented. But everyone eschewed the task of being
the first to speak. Oh well, who knows what the individuals
are thinking. After all, human minds are hard to fathom;
though sometimes others try so hard to figure what you're
thinking when in actual fact you might just be thinking of
what you'll be having for lunch(for example). Don't get me
wrong, cause its not meant to be humourous or sth, I'm
just trying to make clear that most of the time, people think
too much.

And, I shall skip the topic of Awards Night as it causes much
disturbance, I presume.

Gahhhhhh, well on a lighter note, I'm getting those unsightly
metal braces cemented onto my teeth next week. Not that
that's a bad thing. Just that, did I mention, since young
I have this phobia of dentists, & that it would take much
more than a hurricane to blow me into the dentist's patient
room. I did count my blessings when the dentist told me
I'm spared from the extraction of any tooth in my mouth,
however my parents are paying so that I must endure the
sour feeling when small plastic bands are put between my
teeth to seperate them. Man, I wonder how I'd look with
small metal cubes on my individual teeth held together
by a metal wire. Seems like the dentists' will be my new
hangout.

Lastly, I wish to dream of fabulous Biology results tonight.
Cause I totally screwed Physics up.
I should have known better. Physics is easier than Biology.

2008-07-01T22:06:00.000+08:00

Oooh & of course, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Ms Poon.
Heh, don't misunderstand, I'm not referring to the
elegant science teacher(if I'm not wrong) teaching
in our fantabulous school.

I'm referring to the student from 4/4. She has her
own idiosyncratic gestures which at most times I
shy away from. Heh, anyway, here's wishing you a
really HAPPY 16 birthday! To Samantha Poon=)))

2008-07-01T22:01:00.000+08:00

Okay, I'm undeniably happy now! Haha, I guess chatting with people you haven't chatted with for a long time makes you really elated! Plus the national day songs coming out of my earphones really soothes all the day's unhappiness.

However, I still have left a high-standard english summary I haven't completed. I shall go do it lest Mrs Chung flies into a rage when she finds out I haven't completed it by her extended dateline. (Though I know she won't=))

Cya.

2008-06-29T21:32:00.000+08:00

Okay, like my exam partner said, CTs are over. One hurdle crossed, but days to the big Os draw nearer. The anticipation of CT's results are killing me, though I know I most probably will either just scrape through or fail, but I can't help but think that I will be on cloud nine if I actually do surprisingly well. Sighhhhhhhh, Chemistry was obviously a killer, quite like its setter. Heh, man, I actually dreamt I got reprimanded by her. A nightmare, yes!

Oh & I realised, without RC activities, I find that I don't have much to blog about. Apart from occassional outings, oh wait, there was only 1 recent one, okay then I shall blog about that. Yesterday, the usuals caught a movie together. It was entitled Penelope, pronounced as Pen-ell-lo-pee, haha about this girl being born with a pig's snout. 3 out of 5 stars for me. Then we walked around plaza sing, its so close to RC HQ. Nostalgia, but just a teeny weeny bit. Daiso, the $2 shop really fascinated me. They had all sorts of interesting things there, all priced at $2, sounds cheap but getting just a handful of items may cost a bomb. We all spent around $10 each just in that shop. However, I'm really satisfied, because I was able to purchase items that hold much meaning. We left soon after we got what we wanted.

I hurried to take the mrt to clementi with Yifang, which is on the green line, so I didn't estimate the time from Dobhy Ghaut to Clementi. Ended up waiting for an hour for my parents; for the first half hour though, I enjoyed sitting there, cause at that time I somehow had lots of things to think of. But the next half an hour, I was practically dozing off while sitting upright. What's more, the weather was really humid & there was not much of a breeeze, so the 1 hour wait was really !@#$%. Anyway, I went to a Korean restaurant with a group of around 20 ppl, & my table was 2 tables away from Allan Wu, Wong Lilin & their families. Okay I know, its no big deal, but afterall she's still the lead actress of the movie Leap Years, so she is somebody right. Oh, but the dinner was not for me, the authentic korean dishes had a weird taste, gosh & dining in such a fine restaurant was extremely pricey.

Okay, can I say that's all? Yea, I'm too lazy to blog anymore. What's more, there's school tomorrow. Oh, & unfortunenately I don't foresee myself getting exceedingly good grades. Sighhhhh..

Leona Lewis American Idol Performance

2008-06-18T01:40:00.001+08:00

See, she can sing live incredibly well!

okay, I'm probably mad from studying?

2008-06-18T00:57:00.000+08:00

still LEONA LEWIS :DDDD

She's a wonderful singer!

2008-06-13T22:16:00.000+08:00

The day started off really weird. Hey afterall, its Friday the 13th! Reached Dobhy Ghaut just in time, met the cadets. (ex-cadets but they still call me ma'am). Did some recap with them before proceeding to the Red Cross House, a place that I'm so used to already, though not being within some's sight. It was the place I'd been coming to since I was in primary school; the premises stands strong over the years & there's no major alteration to its semblance.

Walked up the spiral stairway to RCTC room 2, & expressions of nervousness started to surface. That wasn't a strange sight, as both Winny & I, the 2 licensed oldies, were getting it too. We decided to leave the room after a while, so as not to absorb the candidates' stress. Instead we settled for fresh air, at the mouth of the RC house, a light talk & random topics. Time passed & then it was time for bandaging & CPR. We the oldies were quite discomposed, trying our luck at hinting as our job was to do so. The CPR was even worse, the tension gradually building, as the candidates were to enter the room singly. The examiner seemed as if she could eat my girls n guy up.

Wasn't it upsetting that I couldn't stay for the results?!! Haha. Anyway, congrats to this clamorous yet astoundingly amazing batch of sec 1s. Their results were laudable & I could see due amount of effort put into studying for this test. But its worth it, cause when you pass, you'll be a licensed & certified first aider! You'll get your own license which is so cool!

Ehhm okay, then I went to Cairnhill place to get the X-ray done. Then rushed back to school with Winny, managing to catch a glimpse of the Land ROD. But it was the best part! The marching past of the graduating batch, & I felt glad, that there was some 22o6 ppl in the squad of green. As the weeks passed, more UGians of 22o6 get their Retirement Of Duty or Passing Out Parades. I reminisced the times when we were still under our sirs/ma'ams wing, & cadets of different UG, namely Land, Air, Guides, Boy's Brigade & Red Cross, spending time together doing drills. As time passed & we entered sec 3, our wings were then fully-fledged; 22o6 UGians assumed the higher roles of each unit. Knowing each other pretty well, negotiations were able to reach an agreement, & we all came closer together. That made life in UG the more worthwhile.

& today Qinjie made a special mention towards 22o6 UGians during his speech, I think he left us all in awe. I have to say, Wong Qinjie does drive me up the wall at times with his temperament, yet he still knows how to do something afterward to save his skin. =)) Anyway, congrats big green guy, I think we'll be seeing you in a RED beret during your NS time. Haha.

Okay, I'm lazy to continue from here. The rest are 'mundane' details. Haha, just kidding. Played with the sec 2s cause they jio us out for lunch. We made a din at Sumo house before proceeding to my house. We played 'cat-and-mouse' all the way from AMK to KHATIB. It was fun, but kinda exhausting for old people like me.

Today was really really !!!! Haha, the series of events kept going, like an unstoppable film. But I want another today. & ANTICIPATION is my new cool word.

Cya.

2008-06-04T20:53:00.000+08:00

Farewell party: an indelible 2 hours.
Though farewells couldn't go without speeches,
when it was my turn to go up and make one, I
realised then it was really redundant. Perhaps
I do better while writing.

I can't say so for the rest, because I could sense
their innermost feelings & how they reach out
to their audience. They just have the gift for speech.
Anyway, it was astounding to actually witness the
ones who cried so badly; they weren't whom I thought
would, though it is comforting to envisage why they
were crying for. The video presented wasn't that moving,
as just like mine was last year. I didn't cry, just like they
didn't.

At that particular point in time when we were
distributing our gifts, & I walked over to the
sec 1s & 2s to give out mine, I was brought
back to when I was in sec 1 & 2, where no NCO
would actually really bother about the
existence of sec 1s & 2s, as the emphasis
would be concentrated on the graduating batch
as well as the batch taking over. The sec 1s
and 2s will only just be presented with
little minute gifts of encouragement for
their upcoming years in Red Cross. Also
the programmes in store for the graduating
batch were always last-minute. &
each batch of cadets would only prepare
their performance during the camp itself.
Therefore it is consolatory to know that sec 2s
have put in commendable effort for our
farewell party, in collaboration with our VI
and our YOs. & I hope that sec 1s didn't feel
that left out either.

I wonder if this'll be the end of my RC
journey, as the saying goes that all good
things must come to an end. Those remarkable
times as a unit will never be effaced. & as we
all know how much you girls hope for us
to become VIs, let me tell you that if we
become VIs, things will still nvr be the same
again. There will be times when you purposely
keep us out of your conversations cause we
ought not to know some things, & there will
be a deep gap between us & you; in terms
of friendship as well as ma'am-cadet r/s.
Problems will arise & you'll find it hard to
even communicate with us.

Its easy for you girls to say 'be a VI'.
Its easy for us to say 'yes'.
But it might not be easy for us to work
together. Moreover, what's the
difference of us being a VI or being a
senior? I guess time will tell our
decision, so until then, you will all be
kept in suspense.

That's all for my promised entry. I
procrastinated, but definitely with
a valid reason! (:

2008-06-02T22:43:00.000+08:00

I guess I'm the last one to actually open up Blogger & actually start typing sth solid to post. Well, just one piece of redundant info to all readers for a start, because I'm wallowing in self pity; my hard disk crashed, & I've lost all my pictures, videos & documents. Okay, one day when I'm really free I shall collect them back again.

Anyway, POP is over. The camp started as a major cock-up, I think no one will deny that, but I suppose things gradually got better as the sec 3s got more & more used to being the ICs. Conquer O on Friday seemed especially long, though I can't picture why. So when it was finally over, the 'slacker' NCOs went down to the RC room to dump our stuff there. I suppose at that time, no one really felt that that would be the last 2 days we can still claim the room is ours.

Ehmm, okay as for the minute details, I have to skip. So, digressing to after our food shopping spree, the 6 NCOs returned to school & merrily started a fire for our outdoor cooking. At that time, the joy of being able to actually sit outside the redcross room to peacefully eat a meal was very satisfying. Picture a dark sky, dim lights from the corridor, & the warmth of the flame coming from under the mass tins, not forgetting the aroma of the food cooking. Okay well, its just so family-like.

& at night, that was when the 'camp' really started. Well, I know the sec 2s will hate me for what I've done, though no one will actually be so blunt to say it out. I just hope you'll be able to endure, no matter how tough things are. D'you know how much it hurt to actually stand there and watch you all crumble? But someone still has to do the dirty job. & after the plenty drilling sessions, we all sincerely hope that you'd all grow, to acheive BIG things. Because we can see potential.

As for sec 1s, like I said, I don't really know you people yet. But it is definitely visible that you all have sort of understood a few of the many rules of being a UGian. The road upcoming ain't easy, that's for sure. But as long as there's passion, as well as due effort, things will flow smoothly. I was glad & amazed that sec 1s, being sec 1s, could really improve overnight. Their drills improved the very next day, & their mindset of 'no, I'm not ready for POP' could change to 'YES, I'm ready for POP'. You could say it was heartwarming.

After 'tucking' the dear cadets into 'bed', the NCOs retired for the night as well. A few knocked out straightaway. Qh & I were the 'survivors'. She passed time playing Vanessa's PSP, while I sat quietly in thought, or rather I was trying to go to sleep. Qh mumbled nonsensical stuff out, which the half-asleep Vanessa would stifle out a laugh. At that time, it was around 3.00am. Awhile later, the rain came, bringing about a refreshing breeze. It was cold, but Qh & I ventured out of our cosy abode. Then we plonked onto the chairs at the foyer, cause not much strength was left of our tired bodies. A small conversation was held, afterwhich we slept. Apparently I couldn't sleep, which was such a waste, cause my eyelids were drooping but my brain just didn't want to shut down yet. When I finally could, my stomach had to cruelly wake me up; I felt like vomitting so I hurriedly switched positions, till I was sitting on the foyer floor. Pathetic huh, but then again, not long after, I was awoken by Edna, it was 5.ooam. How timely.

We tried to wake the sleeping beauty up, but she didn't budge, so we took a walk & gave a morning call to the cadets. They responded to our first call. (: PT was next, initially I ran with them, but decided to stay back to attend to the 'patients'. At least it was fruitful, as I made my first talk with Joey & Hwee Tong.

Time crawled by before it was the last rehearsal for POP. Everyone was perked up by that time, & were able to execute considerably standard drills upon Cx's command. As the 'guests' slowly arrived, the NCOs were donning on their immaculate uniform filled with badges. It was busy time for the sec 3s as they had to boost the morale of the sec 1s & 2s, to gear them up for their grand entrance. As the Guard-Of-H& honour contingent marched smartly into the parade square, I could feel the stares from all around. I suppose the six of us were bursting with pride, a sight not to be missed. As the parade commenced, things were going awry as cock-ups surfaced. & when the GOH contingent blasted the final cheer, the voices were filled with enthusiasm, & at the end, we won applauds from the audience; Yf pulled of my beret too.

It was after the parade that many unexpected incidents came simultaneously. That incured my wrath & all I could do was to helplessly pace around the 2nd floor of our school. Deep in thought, I held onto the 2 keys linked together by a keyring. I realised that there's always only room for 2, which leaves me feeling uneasy. After I was satisfied, I stopped & returned to the stuffy room. It was still hours to go before the anticipated farewell party. Everyone preoccupied themselves with something; I was still disorientated & fidgety. Finally as the minutes inched nearer, the NCOs got ready to leave the room. Outside stood the sec 2s, who were adamant about putting on bandages for us. Fortunately I managed to get away, & ended up behind a pillar less than 10m from the AVA room. No one could find me, until Yiling spotted me.

Digressing, I realised my post is redundantly lengthy. I didn't bother to summarise my words, & at some points, I too realised that I have no idea what I'm typing. Well the farewell party shall be explained at a later date, when I feel I have the inspiration to type. As for now, I shall sleep, & tmr there's still the maths camp. Sighhhhhhh.

2008-05-26T23:17:00.000+08:00

I flipped through my report book at an attempt to act like studious student a few days ago.
One where he/she would try to compare results & look at the areas for inprovement.

Then I unknowingly flipped the pages to look at my results during my sec 2 days.
& my eyes scrolled to the bottom of the page where the remarks read that I
have a cheerful & friendly disposition that is endearing to teachers & fellow
peers. I'm having second thoughts as I re-read it in my mind.

Perhaps I have changed. Another one of the remarks read: She needs to be more
focused during lessons and not be easily distracted by other matters. Other matters
referring to my beloved sitting partner.

However I'd wish that I'm distracted by my peers rather than being distracted
by evil thoughts or just plain air. Imagine being distracted by plain air!

Should I feel chagrined at my absurd attitude towards her? Should I go on
deceiving myself?

2008-05-26T22:18:00.000+08:00

With O lvl's chinese down, its feels as if a huge burden has been removed.
Anticipated for this day to be over, even though its only the first paper.
However there's this undescribable feeling, as if i'm so pressed for time.

Time just slowly ticks away when you want it to pass fast, but it flies just
when you want it to slow down.

I completed my Paper1 half an hour before time's up. Sitting at my desinated
place in the hall, with my name printed on a piece of sticker stuck at the top right
hand corner of my table, I looked around. I noticed the invigilators' stares, so I
stared back. Then I looked at the 2 huge digital clocks at the right & left side of
the hall. It felt like eternity before a minute passed. Everyone seemed so engrossed
in scribbling their answers on the answer booklet. & I seemed like the only one
sitting there with nothing to do. Just exactly like everyone's coloured, however I'm
the only one who's black & white.

My point is, even in studies, I'm simply just black & white, still stuck behind in time,
while the rest have visibly progressed through time.

Paper 2 started quick & ended the same way. I have no recollection of my feelings
as I was writing my answers. Perhaps there isn't a need to, because I will forget
soon enough!

Interesting, how I am able to describe fully my exact feelings when doing Paper 1, yet
have completely no thoughts about Paper 2. However, it ain't a big deal because over
time, it will just become yet another fragment of my memory.

It was a seemingly wonderful day out; spending precious time out on the streets
& at the malls was a great way to destress, we self-consolated. Many a time today,
indecisiveness set in, & we realised we were either walking aimlessly, or else just
standing at a corner in our quiet group of 3. Even so, it was wrong to do that because
an SMRT officer warned us to move off. Well well, in the end hasty decisions were made
& the places we decided to go proved unsuitable only once we've reached there.

Edna was obviously 'bullying' Sam today. Though it was sort of a spectacle to onlookers,
& we had our green uniforms donned on, but it was much of the only entertainment. At
times it was hilarious alright. Ehhm, did I laugh cause it was hilarious, or because I had
nothing to say? (This question is rhetorical!)

Man, I think I'm on the road to become a looney. (I speak to myself!!)
Gosh, I think I'm done for today. Anymore & I'll really turn mad. Literally?

So, Byeee.

2008-05-16T22:06:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, acquaintances just click.

Well, had buffet at the supposedly 5 star Changi Hotel.
It was just okay-okay. But something else made this trip
memorable.

The acquaintance that I met, I will not forget. & that yellow
shirt too.

& its 3 more hours to dear mum's birthday.

O level's chinese is drawing nearer. So is POP.
Then I realise I'm going to turn 16 soon. Means
no more playing & everything. I should become
more mature. No more childish feelings or whatsoever.
& I realised, that things that I thought I will never
forget, I'm beginning to forget as time passes.

Let me just shrug my shoulders and simply say,
'I don't care anymore.'

O levels. I'm running my last lap. No more distractions,
I'm glad. No more weird messages. I'm in sec 4.

2008-05-09T23:29:00.000+08:00

Today, finally it is complete. The 'family' portrait.
It definitely feels much more comfortable & soothing
when no one's missing.

I suppose this joy is inexplicable.

Eh, digressing a little, had our lunch at j8's kfc.
I had a Zinger, which oddly, didn't taste
like Zinger. Rather, it tasted horrible!! I thought
perhaps it was just my tastebuds, who knows
that when I finally could not take it that I voiced
it out, I realised that Yf & Qh had felt the same.
Immediately Yf dropped her burger, which was
kind of hilarious. Haha, is it true about the 'injecting
some liquid into the chicken' thing like what Mabel
had said?

Anyway, no matter what, I'm not going to eat
Zinger again; until unless of course, I feel the urge
to try it again.

Oh yea, back to the topic, it just feels good.
To be able to sit tgt, its heavenly bliss! (:
Sounds exaggerated though, but its been
a loooooooong time. & being tgt often brings
us closer!

And one more thing, cadets planning our
special event, must make it SPECIAL alright!
=DD It has to be exclusive to our batch only
okay. Hehs.

Anticipation(:

2008-05-09T23:18:00.000+08:00

Myanmar Cyclone. 100000 dead.
Please donate, cash if possible;
to organisations involved to provide
aid for the victims.

2008-05-05T21:33:00.000+08:00

Lets just say, you have described everything that I felt. My nonchalence towards everything, as well as my indifference, was an image I had promised myself. Because sometimes its just so difficult to face the forthcoming of an unexpected event. Exactly an event like. . .the dismal view of emptiness up ahead. Then you'll ask yourself, what happened to the usuals? Or where am I heading? Home? Are we going for lunch? Are they waiting for me? Or am I waiting for them?
The myriad of questions subconsciously appearing into your mind, endlessly.

Why is this even necessary, if people don't assume. & most of the time, however, we assume. Well its true that it takes initiave to be the one to voice out those simple questions, but who is the consistent one that, without fail, will ask these questions daily?

That's why it is said that people learn to cherish only when they realise their loss. Because when it is there, people don't realise its significance. & always assume it will always be there. However once it has disappeared, they ponder over its loss. Or maybe not? (Take for example this instance)

Sounds cliche right, the part where 'poeple learn to cherish only when they realise their loss', but astoundingly, every single word there makes absolute sense.

Anyway, I believe ours is but closely bonded camaraderie(not brotherhood, but sisterhood?); where sometimes avoidance is necessary, right?? Right.

And the prolonged silence in between is just to give us time to think of our next word, right?
Right again.

I do hope it ain't just self-consolation. Because it shouldn't be self-justification, as it requires every invovled person to recognise the above 2 lines.

That day will come, when we supposedly will meet once every 2 months; despite our new life, our new friends, & our hectic future. Roam the world together? Absorb the wondrous sight of New Zealand together? When now the presence of long silence-s & avoidance already awaits every day?

2008-04-29T22:04:00.000+08:00

The current weather is seriously tormenting. The immense heat is driving me up the wall, you see. During English comprehension test, envisage yourself in an oven while doing a test. You'd go berserk, I tell you. I suppose its the effects of global warming? Plus, this heat makes everyone more irritable and less approachable.

Imagine that Weather, in the past where no one would take note of its existence, has become the crux of our vexation today. What about, bestowing upon us the great gift of rain; that would help.

2008-04-28T23:32:00.000+08:00

Mg + O ---> MgO
Redox?
Chemistry?

2008-04-28T22:30:00.000+08:00

Y'know, your chem lessons suck big time. & I swear I will nvr forget what you did! That made me dislike you so much; I nvr wanted this to happen. Cause in others' eyes, you were the perfect teacher, the one with a nice voice, the one with beautiful handwriting. Say that I think too much or whatever, I don't care. & I'm not the rude one, I didn't purposely throw those papers at you, but you'd always been the one to say nasty things to me. I bet you don't even know your words carried so much weight, right? But I'm a part of 2/2 'o6. Nth will change that fact, even if you'd nvr wanted me as your student!

Then what's this class now? Just a class where everyone's broken up into cliques? & its all about competitive studying, to beat one another in the upcoming tests. What's the point? So what if your results are better than someone else's? Does that make you happy?

Wouldn't being in a class where you receive care & concern from others be better than being in a class where criticism & sacarsism resound in between the 4 walls?

Why is it that for them, its the Ts that are continuously giving? Why are those Ss so lucky? They just take liberally, like the care & concern of the Ts is unlimited. Their Ts are willing to sacrifice time to be with them, to put those Ss who need help back onto the right track. But the Ss don't even care. If only, the Ts care & concern would be shown to us, its much more than we can ask for. & their care will surely be reciprocated. But again, its sth that can't ever happen.

Sam, ask why I can't go to your T to ask for help? That's because, when my own T wouldn't even care, your T ain't obliged to help me. & even I feel chagrined by this circumstance. You tell me why?? You've ruined the 'good T' impression I used to have of you. But I know I shouldn't ruin others' good impression of you.

2008-04-27T16:30:00.000+08:00

surpressed, till I let it go today.
Sorry is all I can say.

I never meant for things to turn
out like this.

2008-04-18T22:13:00.001+08:00

Council ceremony today. It was the last alr.
Took photos, as memories. Ain't it wonderful
that UG can bond ppl tgt?

Receptionist team was great!; Even though
the number of guests was few. The ceremony
had seen some cockups, but the emcees Benjamin
& Yilin did a great job in 'covering up'. ((((:
The video presentation was not bad either, cheers
to kl for the video.

Took the cadets for rounds around the sch,
taught them how to sing the Red Cross song.
However, that has caused some misunderstandings.
Sighhhhhhhhh.

Then there was the combined UG footdrills.
Apparently I 'fall out' during the drills. Which
is damn malu!! I have nvr 'fall out' during drills
before okay!! So diu lian. Sighhhhhhhhhh AGAIN.
Then Mendi had the same problem as me. Its
painful okay; though somehow, I will always
manage to endure throughout the process. =)))

Then we thought of doing 2/2 'o6 drills, like how
we used to. But we couldn't do proper drills cause
we had to take our own platoons. But no
matter what, 2/2'o6 will always have a place in
all our hearts!

And then sir Izuan gave his last speech, as
he is leaving for 6 months to go somewhere.
I don't know where. Anyway, gd luck.

This somewhat marks the end of our UG life.
Though in june, there's still the BIG thing.
I just hope we can step down in peace. Do our
last 'besurai' happily, and watch them take over.
Red Cross spirit runs in my veins! I won't forget.
Cause it shall be forever-and-a-day.

2008-04-16T20:58:00.000+08:00

One message, was all it took to trigger those memories.

It took so long, to forget. Was close to succeeding, to just

forget that friendship you'd cruelly abandoned; picking it

up when things went smoothly, but leaving it behind when

you were occupied. Its not your fault, though. You have

your life. However, so many times, it gets demoralising,

when I want to forget, yet I'm unable to.

Tonight, you sent a message; expecting me to reply. You

once said this invisibility would last, & because acquintances

knew more. I once proved your theory wrong. Now, I know

you're wrong too. Cause you'd never rmb; I don't expect

you to. Cause you'd never understand; that though this bond

might not have meant much to you, it meant alot to me,

because this friendship was special, unique. Erase everything,

cause you're a much happier person now. I don't expect you

to rmb this old friend you used to have.

Just, don't talk to me again. Assume you

never knew me; let this invisibility die.

2008-04-13T22:55:00.001+08:00

Unbelievably, I'm momentarily elated! Browsing through photos brings back memories about the sweet victories! I'm happy, contented. (:

2008-04-12T20:02:00.000+08:00

Chanced upon a fragile soul.

Despondency overwhelmed it;

poignant agonies filled up inside.

However, the surroundings, of quiescent

melancholy, gave it a place to reside

in.

Thought t'was completely

broken, thought the lingering

hurt in it would never subside.

But today, things happened

unexpectedly. Too much

laughter, too much talk;

too good to be true. Seemed

like the abysmal misery had

already been omitted, &

things went just too smoothly.

The talk about her outlandish

behaviour(it was THAT serious),

just hauled all racing thoughts

to the forlorn scene of the

shattered soul.

Why is everyone

broken?

2008-04-11T22:36:00.000+08:00

Warrant to Private.

Tried to let go, tried to give up,
tried to not care, tried to run.

But they held on, never gave up,
showed they care, caught up with us.

Walked 2 rounds around the
sch, in hope our moods would
lighten. Felt much better afterwards,
but almost succumbed to the plight
of the feeling of disappointment;
watching the gradual disappearance
of their shadows.

Which parent would ever stop
loving their children?; Children
that they have moulded from
nothing to something.
Though at times, children can
give parents such a huge major
headache, that the parents get
so frustrated about. But
nevertheless, parents still feel
proud of their children when
they do exceedingly well, & of
course ---- when they rmb how
much effort their parents put in;
when they think of their parents.

It was the kind of fairy tale &
chirpy, happy kind of ending, or so
it seems.

But there's one shut door, this door
has been shut for a long time. But
just recently, it became locked. The
key to the lock, its hidden, but we
must find it. Unlock & open the door,
treasures aplenty. One day, when
I find the courage to search for the
key again, I'll make sure I find it.
Till then, I shall just watch the world
revolve around the finding of this
sacred key.

2008-04-10T21:14:00.000+08:00

Words or actions phrased or done wrongly
will result in misunderstandings.
& misunderstandings hurt, alot.

Tmr is the last. She said to 'screw' them,
but how can I? When I know that they
aren't strong enough to take it. I feel like a
Devil. Pushing them so hard was what I
thought was right, I wanted them to excel.
But somehow they aren't as strong.

'IT' is coming soon, the great handover.
The moment of pride & glory when we
look back into our past achievements.
If we become ONE, will they feel this
way abt us just like how we feel abt THEM?
Then what's the use of joining, we asked
ourselves. Will our seemingly never-ending
passion end one day? & it comes down
to the handling.

You see, so many ppl have said, 'I don't
think you're handling IT the RIGHT
way'. Define RIGHT please. If it wasn't RIGHT,
why are we always presenting awards to Mr
Tan/Mdm Tong in the morning? Why have
we established a name for ourselves again?
Leaving many others in awe of our achievement;
as when we took over, no one thought we
could do it.

Will they be able to keep the spirit? Even
though one is down, the rest will keep
up, right?

2008-03-30T20:40:00.000+08:00

Hokay, so elated that sec 2s won the ArtFest video category!

At around 12 ystd, met up with the usuals to buy those flowers n chocs we saw the day before. Left for sch soon after, & sat in the bus Ms Chan booked for us. Finally it ain't the small, mini kind of bus. =) Reached RELC hotel soon, & we were kinda late. Saw HongZhou sir & I sort of laughed, cause I didn't think I would see him there. Hey the other NCOs laughed too okay, but then Esther ma'am was like, 'what's so funny' -.- I don't like Esther ma'am. :P Lalala.

Anyway, watched all the performances, some were really gd, some were a lil' bit not quite up to standard. Siling was performing, while Shaf sat behind me; so great to see them all again! Then when the sec 2s video was being played, all of us got ecstatic and high!! So cool la, amkssrcy. =))) Oh, & there was a period when winny, edna n myself were damn urgent to use the toilet, we left our seats & 'rushed' to the door, guarded by sy ma'am(:, and she said we couldn't leave, gawdddd, imagine you are so filled up with water, yet some one don't let you out, eeeew. Actually, though its true that it ain't very polite to leave the auditorium when someone is performing. -.-''

And then when the judges were tabulating the results, 'BAD news came'.& it sounded rly bad, till the extent that all the NCOs were praying & hoping that the BAD news wasn't true. Then we heard, 'Champions for ArtsFest video catergory goes to Ang Mo Kio sec!!!' , & then I knew I got cheated again. So many times, again & again, but ah well, blame myself for being so stupid. Then we got kind of emotional & hugged etc, & shouted the Gd job cheer damn loudly, Huda ma'am came to give us a dressing down. But then, WHO CARES? Haha. Alvin sir came to congratulate us, etc etc etc & I hugged Siling n Shaf!! They were so nice, to console me n give me tissue! (: Later on, we proceeded to PS, & went in search of a place to dine in. Ended up at macs cause the other places were packed. Okay, n after eating my stomach hurt like shit. So I kinda like shut up for a very long time. Till the pain was reduced. Then took the mrt home, & one more sat gone.

Rly congrats to the sec 2s, for doing us & most of all, themselves proud!

2008-03-22T20:51:00.000+08:00

Leila Tong,
So pretty and cute!! =))))

2008-03-22T17:41:00.000+08:00

NFC 2008
North District, First runner up.

National Top 8.

2008-03-21T22:16:00.000+08:00

Okay. Yes QinJie, we do need to talk, again.

2008-03-13T21:49:00.000+08:00

Monday
Went to sch pretty early, for
my own entertainment. Ncos,
Zx & ______ went for lunch.
I have no idea why she tagged
along too. Talking abt this makes
my blood boil. Like wtf, hello,
you are such a mf. Saying we
can't set examples eh, & you
choose to tell the other Ncos
whom you know would just
politely listen and can
withstand your nonsense. If you
had the guts, come find me la.
I will make sure you go away
speechless, swallowing back
your idiotic words.
'How about you then? Saying
we don't set gd eg right? Do
you even come for trngs?
Sorry, no. You are always
Missing In Action alright,
coming only 2 out of 20 trngs.
And let me tell ya, your presence
ain't missed at all, mf. So you
say we should set gd egs.
Who the hell are you to say this
man. If you were Wj, Joanne,
Xy, Wl or anyone else for that
matter of fact, I'd gladly oblige,
because I look up to them, sorry,
definitely not you, cause in my
eyes, you are just a useless
piece of shit. Think before you
say can, do you think you can
outdo our current batch of Ncos?
Make the squad achieve what
it is now? You aren't even fit to
be called 'ma'am' okay. Y'know,
you suck big time.

Okay, I'd dedicated one paragraph
to you, aren't you happy! LOL

So after lunch, came back n had
some problem with Land ppl.
Felt like just telling them off.
Sad that Qj wasn't there, he went
super num. But had things
settled after awhile. Cadets
taught Land evac, and the Ncos
of both UG sat at the back
silently watching our cadets'
performance. After the lesson
was over, had grilling session
again. Monday ended just
like that.

Tuesday
Had chem remedial, okay Ms Low
was so NICE to come back n teach
us mole concept etc. Afterwards
went for 'little red hen' musical.
It was pouring like no one's business
and we were drenched though we
had umbrellas. Our shoes were
thoroughly soaked, and our clothes
became kinda translucent. Guides
took a bus there after they break
camp, but weren't any better off,
cause they still had to run under
the rain to reach the place. So
most of us were soaking wet &
trying to get dry. Inside the
air-conditioned hall, I sat next
to Vanessa and Edna. We
concentrated more on keeping
warm than on the show. ;D
Its like, almost the whole hall
was filled with squirming children
and their patient parents. Except
for the bunch of us from GG n RC.
Okay, so the musical was more
or less for little kids, so the
line, 'for ages 2 to 92' was abit
wrong. Though the GOOSE was
extremely hilarious.

Later on, went to tpy with ncos
to eat. Walked around a little bit,
but you see, tpy has nth much
to see. So went home soon after.

Wednesday
Dragonboat with UGs. Reminds
me of RCYC. Partnered Tan Yiling.
And sadly, KS n YL was behind,
& kept splashing water at us. The
water was friggin' dirty!!!! =(
But overall, db was definitely fun,
though muscles kinda ached
afterwards. Soon after, saw
NYJC db ppl. Joanne was there
too. I can't believe she's so heartless!
:(
Went back to school to see the
cadets prepare for Arts Fest. And
yes, unbelievably, half of the 1 week
holiday's gone!!!

Thursday
Went to sch to see the dance & video
grp, dance being sec 3s, & video being
sec 2s. Pearlyn n Winny went to hq
for their AOP, while the rest stayed
in sch to try complete the video.
Around 5 ++, all sec 2s n 3s present
were made to fall in in the parade sq,
where we presented to the empty
sch our 1st runner up team &
performance! LOL. Cadets as
well as Ncos reminisced those
Footdrill competition days, &
we all took pride in holding the
pretty, gleaming Green n Gold
poles. More footdrill followed
after that, and later, we went
to Winny's house to settle the
Zulu video. Vivian n I had to leave
early, n the rest diligently
continued the huge task.

The past few days has been
raining heavily. Should be
global warming la, else it would
be monsoon seaon? haha, sry,
my geog sucks. So far both my
shoes are wet, which makes me
very upset. So today I'm smart
to wear slippers. Yeah smart till
I forgot slippers had no friction.
I 'almost' fell countless number
of times. Every step is so
dangerous! But I reached home
safe n sound, thankyou!

Q:What am I doing now??
A:I've just put a piece of chocolate
containing champagne in it into
my mouth, Dad bought it back
from his trip to Germany. It
tastes awful!!! Eeeew.

And and, Daddy n Mummy
are coming back tonight.
Is that a gd thing or a bad thing?
Lol, so no more late nights for
me. =(

That's all, bye ppl.

2008-03-09T22:11:00.000+08:00

And so, lets talk about Friday's
trng, then Saturday's fund fiesta.
Okay, so Friday's trng was a bit
special. Somehow it ain't like the
usual trngs anymore. Perhaps
things just got more complicated.
It suddenly felt so hard to let go.
Sth that you are so used to, suddenly
just gone away.

Anyway, somehow I got pissed at
the start of trng. I shouldn't have
known about that. Made me so
disappointed; how I wish it ain't
true. Tell me it ain't alright, I'm
not going to believe you'd do sth
like that. And sec 3s again didn't
rly fufil their duty, but well, you
guys have only 1 month left with
us. Cherish this 1 month to learn
more before we hand over this to
you guys. I believe, well yeah,
sure you can do better than us.
I'm serious! :D

And though many sec 1s didn't
pass their health law test, it was
comforting to know that at least
there were cadets who did exceeding
well, with their nicely done up
posters. Also, for the RCK, I wonder
why. But again, I'm still glad that
there were ppl who did pass the test,
& not to mention, getting an A?
Ah, the rest, pls work harder.

And and and, after trng, behold,
the bus bay session. It was weird,
but thanks to the first aid kit. It did
save someone's knees, Chongxi. =)
I guess the fact that we're standing
down in April rly hit them hard in
the head, seemed so. Haha, hey, well
contradicting all I've said before,
taking over's not too bad a thing
afterall, right? Makes you become
a new person, though it can be
stressing at times, but there'll still
be some fun in it, and it does
definitely bond the ncos!(First time
I'm saying this eh.)

Well, hopefully the sec 1s can open
up more, so that Red Cross can have
the bonding spirit. Then it'd be rly
'One for All, All for One'. I'll be waiting
for that day. =D
That's all for Friday's trng I guess.
And seeing them smiling & laughing etc;
I want to reminisce. I want to be a cadet
all over again. I'll nvr regret being a
cadet of AMKSS rcy. =)

Saturday.
Real hard to get myself out of bed,
reached sch looking kind of lethargic.
And guess what, Mdm Yao actually
called us 'Girl Guides'. Mistaken
identity eh! Haha. Prepared first aid
kits and stretchers, & tgt with some
other UGs, we left in the bus n headed
for Pasir Ris. I stumbled upon some
shocking news again, which, I admit,
was abit hard for me to handle. Those
words again put me into a withdrawal
syndrome, where I shut off from the
rest during the bus journey. I'm sorry
Sam, for not replying you when you
talked to me.
Reached there n did FAD with Chongxi
& Shihui, they're rly kind of funny! Esp
when they enquired about the breakfast
that was supposed to be provided.
And because our First Aid post saw
no casualties, it was kind of a slack session
for us. After the runners came and went,
we found time to sit down and talk.
Well, though it was some insignificant
stuff, it was different, and fun I guess.
It was a friend-to-friend talk, it was
not commanding.

Afterwards, went to rent skates with
Yf, which we kind of regretted after
we reached the rental area. She said
there was no such thing as refund, so
we waited. I can recall Yf when she just
stood rooted to the spot, and then
opened her mouth, to let out shrieks
of help. Defeaning! Haha, just kiddin.
In the end, met up with Vivian and
Shihui, taught Yf to skate. etc etc.

And then the main FA post had
numerous casualties, silently
demanding our invisible skills.
Helped one girl clean her
blood-stained knees, afterwhich
bandaged up her wound. Only to
see the Civic medics unwrap the
bandage & making some adjustments
to it. I know it was wrong for me to
be upset at them, but I couldn't help
it. Yf then said sth which held more
meaning than my shallow words of
complain. I rly should learn, to improve
myself. My FA skills ain't that gd afterall.
I'm just a beginner, who can hold not a
candle to the experts. I must learn
from them, to gain new knowledge, like
Yf said.

And later on, went to Swensens for lunch
cum dinner. Tasty, but very sinful.
Met pearlyn n winny. Zx was also quite
entertaining. Cadets 'told' us in loud,
and continuous sounds. For a moment, I
thought it was not gg to end! haha, jkjk.
Poor them, subjected to 5 Aops with
grpmates who know nuts abt evac.
I must say, even though you guys
yourself are upset about so much work,
I feel proud for you guys; you all aren't
ignorant about any of these. At least
you know what is an AOP, etc.
You all even have evac gold. That's
sth that's not easy to achieve, for
someone in sec 2! =))

So Saturday has just passed like that.
I'm now currently like a roasted pig.
Roasted RED. And very Piggish
cause I'm practically lazing around.
And my forehead hurts. Skin's peeling.

Mighty long post today, a great
accomplishment!! haha. gdnight peeps!

2008-03-01T22:11:00.000+08:00

YCK grassroot club

met sec 1s, 2s, 3s and qh at
YCK mrt, no matter how
many times we emphasised
on the importance of tardiness,
no one rly seems to care.
Which kind of pisses me off,
early in the morning; though
I'm not exactly that early
either, I know that, but I
ain't late, that's what matters. =)

The game schedule didn't
go as according to our plan,
but instead those kids played
in the 'ball area'. Ehh, so the
thing goes like this, each cadet
is assigned to one child.

& these are the holy rules.
1. When you've been assigned
to your child, you have to
take full responsibilty of him/her
and have to make sure he/she
doesn't get injured or neglected.
2. Follow him/her everywhere
he/she goes.
3. Make sure he/she doesn't
run around, such that he/she
won't fall down & get injured.

So, 'FORTUNATELY',
I got a very NICE and CUTE child.
So nice of him to be so hyperactive
and playful, & don't want to sit down
to do things as a grp with the other
little kids. & so nice of him to scramble
up the tiny & squeezy structures that
are meant for kids his age so fast, & rmb
what I said in point number 2 of the rules;
& so, many ppl got to see the unglam
side of me as I hurried up to be by my
child's side. Apparently, he likes it when
I slide down that steep purple slide
after him. Y'know, he takes pleasure
in seeing me 'fly' down the slide, because
I'm like a buffalo trying to slide down
a narrow slide meant for children.
But, he's still cute! He demands for
hugs from almost everyone, carried
him numerous times today; & I feel
seriously ashamed of myself. Like
he's just a little kid while I'm a fifteen
year old, but sometimes I'm unable
to pacify him. How useless.

So after all the sweat from chasing
him around, & not forgetting the
shouting for him to wait up for me,
so that I can watch out for his safety,
his parents came to fetch him home.
I realised he's actually kinda adorable
and lovable, so free of worry and so
carefree. No homework, no stress.
When life revolved solely around the
simple word, PLAY. Everyday would
be a happy day. And we would all
indulge in the riches of p-l-a-y.
Yay, what a wonderful ending. Ya
right, if only life would end like that.

However, this little boy that I took,
he's still young, and will have to grow
up one day. I would hope that he will
outgrow the communication
problem that he has now.

Other than that, I also realised
that the sec 2s and 3s have grown.
Much as they have seen 'the other
side of us, ma'ams' , I have seen the
other side of them too. I guess
time passed very quickly. Well,
back to the same old topic, we're
passing out soon! =)

Okay, anyway after the kids have
all left, some sec 2s and us sec 4s
proceeded to j8, supposedly for a
grp lunch. However, while walking
to the desinated Yoshi, Edna and I
decided we'd go 'missing'. Yea so,
sorry peeps, didn't mean to ps you
guys! Went to popular in search
of Edna's stationery etc. Then
grabbed sth light before gg up to
'find' them.

Sat at a corner outside Popular,
& did what girls did best. Gossip
and talk like there's no tmr. Eh,
well, not rly gossip la, but some
real funny stuffs did happen
while Yf went to get our Leap
Year tickets. I find the sec 2s
amusing n humorous! They can
get so friggin high over some
powder spilt on Yf's bag. (Though
actually all of us were laughing
madly.)

Waited till 4.30pm, then caught
Leap Years with Edna and Yf.
Guess who we saw. Its none
other than the 'infamous'
Ang Jing Han, and his girlfriend?
Most probably, she is. Yf couldn't
stop laughing at this Mr Ang,
whose wearing a green shirt, too
prominent to miss her eagle eyes.

And and, at certain parts of the show,
this Tan YiFang laughed the
loudest in the cinema. Also, she
kept grabbing on to my arm.
As if I'm your right one! -____-
haha!

On the whole, the show
was worth the exorbitant price
of $9.50 because today's a
saturday. Okay, so that's all.
This is a long post. Cya peeps.

♫ Martina Mcbride-Concrete Angel With Lyrics!♫

2008-02-29T22:11:00.001+08:00

Please stop CHILD ABUSE.

2008-02-29T20:51:00.000+08:00

Friday training.
As usual, sec 1s, 2s and 3s.
Ma'm Weilin came. Her VI
uniform, immaculate, white
& clean. I wondered how long
it has been since I had seen
OUR vis in their uniforms.

It was pretty cool, cause she's
donning on the REDCROSS
HEADQUARTER's uniform.
even Mr Ong said its nice!! =DD
err, okay nvm. (:

Anyway, the whole of today
I have been gg around telling
ppl how cute Ms ___ is! Okay
la, I said 'Mrs Chan, Ms Chin and
Ms ___ so cute !!' I think I kinda
irritated ppl! Haha!

During trng, stayed in rc room
with Weilin, Vaneh, ahma, and Mrs
Chan. We were diligently wrapping
the gifts for tmr's little kiddos! =))
Gossipped A LITTLE, so cute and
funny can! And another special
thing, NO BUS BAY SESSION
TODAY! I think the cadets
were pretty much overjoyed
at this wonderful news!

Waited with Vanessa for her
cousin to come out. And she
keep di-siao-ing me. chehhh.
Walked with juliana to road
junction, books and bag so
heavy.

Imagine I still have to get
up early for YCK grassroot
club thingy. However, TGIF
TGIF!

Today VE lesson, Mrs Jothi
showed us ppt slides abt Polys
etc. I want to aim high, but am
definitely afraid of falling hard
when the results come back.
Tell me what to do!

2008-02-23T21:45:00.000+08:00

Saturday.
Dragged myself out of bed at around 5.30am.
Super shagged from ystd's trng. But have to be in sch
by 6.30 to help the sirs and ma'ams start sorting the
donation tins.

Cadets came a little bit later. Asked the sec 3s to think
of a cheer for this fund raising activity. Here goes:
I say D-O-N, A-T-I-O-N.
Its cool, its fun.
O, fund raising! *clap*
Cute right? LOL.

Anyway, they went to bus bay to
practise this cheer, cause by that time, our sch had
already been infested by ppl from other schools.
Sorry, but i don't really like to see the sch filled with
alot of ppl, some of which have attitudes like errm, like
pang sai. And and, we managed to split the whole squad
into TWO squads. Friggin' cool!, and there were TWO
I/Cs. Cool, right?! Made then fall in at the foyer, gave out
donation cans, since there was no VI assigned to help us.
So, blah blah blah..and Amkss RCY was ready to go. Slowly,
all the schs took their tin cans and left for fundd raising, leaving
the sch in absolute silence.

Qian hui and I stayed back, supposedly for admin stuff,with
Xiaoyuan ma'am, Xinyu ma'am, Hongzhou sir, and don't
know what other sir. *ahem ahem, broken wrist. lol. Yifang
and Edna had to attend Ms Lee's 'fabulous' maths lesson. Qh
and I were kinda bored to our wits, that we took out the 1st
runner up poles to play. We did our formation once, 2 ppl so
lonely on the empty parade square. We counted the timing
kind of effortlessly, it was the formation that we had practised
so hard for. Every bang and timing said, was said and
done with immense pride. We take pride in everything we do,
because we're self motivated. =DDD

Next on the list for 'things to do when Qh and Yl are bored',
we played with water. From our twin bottles. It was fun to
run around the sch, enjoying the peace, and only hearing the
sounds of our heavy footsteps. In the end, breathlessness
caught up with us, as we 'strolled' back to the foyer. Ended
up talking with the sir and ma'ams in RC room.Waited
for Edna and Yf to come, talked even more. Xinyu ma'am
and Hongzhou sir were walking around the sch. How romantic!
*ahem ahem

And talked to Xiaoyuan ma'am abt VI life. I guess the NCOs
had quite a fun time laughing at some of the comments she
made, that we hardly realised it was 12 pm and the students
have returned from their fund raising. Rushed back out to
render our help! We're helpful, initiated kiddos! Halfway
through, some of us started complaining abt our rumbling
tummies and discussing about where to have lunch at.

After packing up and besurai the cadets, had lunch with
some of the cadets and VIs at kfc. Talked and chilled with
the cadets. And i'm not a Very Important PENGUIN okay!
Though it sounds kinda cute. Sighhhhhhhh I think this
would make it even harder for us to let go, and break the
bonds. Left for amk hub after that. Combed fairprice extra
for Qh's new bag, but ended up with Qh not buying
anything, but Yf and me bought sushi.

In the mrt, we talked about the future. How impt social
life would be, and would we still have the passion for rc,
to join VIP? But I guess I would make an effort, to give
my best for this Society that I have spent 7 yrs with.
Ppl's persuasion are so influential. Like from a period of
time where I was quite sure I wouldn't join VIP, till now,
half convinced to join. I need opinions, whether I should
join, and dedicate my life to SRCY. Should I join VIP?

2008-02-23T21:13:00.000+08:00

And so, I haven't been blogging from since last week.
That's because common tests kept me busy studying
the whole of last week. One test after another, everyday
has been like hell. Not having enough sleep, not being able
to really stay awake and fully focused during lesson etc etc.
its just so....umm, stressful. Its the struggle of scoring well
for every single test. GAHHHHHH!

Anyway, yesterday there was trng. Well, everything as usual,
though there were quite a number of cock-ups. Like during
teaching of lessons, and during PT. You could say the NCOs
were pissed off and almost exploded. Okay fine, maybe I'm
the one who's feeling that way. !@#$%^ I just feel so pissed
off, sometimes! But somethings aren't meant to be said!!
Which is super frustrating!!, and you can't rant at anyone
or anything.

So, after trng, again we had the Bus-Bay drill! Okay,
anything that's happening in the Bus-bay, ain't a
good thing. But I think they're already used to it. So, ystd's
was a little bit more saddening, than the previous few times.
Cause we added in the VIP thing, as well as POP. Gosh, totally
can't believe we're stepping down in a few months time. So thats
the BIG problem. No need for elaboration i guess. *I think my posts
are boring, because its the same old routine. Every week's trng
ends up alike.* Ahhhh well, i should say things that aren't so monotonous.

And the HQ sirs came down to prepare the stuff needed for today's flag day.
Total disaster, but at least we tried. I should have the mindset that its
all just a tiny misunderstanding. Nvm, and so after Bus-bay drill, I guessed
everyone had woken up a bit more? Hopefully.

We need the pillars. You ppl have to be strong, as I said, don't ever let yourself
break down. You can't afford to, because they need you.

Happy leading,sec 3s!

2008-02-17T22:19:00.000+08:00

Weilin, you have to come back.
Only you can help me pass
maths with flying colours.
Please come back..
That china teacher knows
nuts about Maths, you have
to come back.

2008-02-17T15:13:00.000+08:00

I will try to attend your musical.

2008-02-17T14:43:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY,
EDNA.

Hope you're happy..=)
Anw, NFC ystd was alright.
1st runner up in North District,
National Top 8. Is that considered
good? Why didn't i feel the contentment
and satisfaction like i did during FAC?
Was it because i was too complacent?
That i knew we stood a better chance?
Throughout the whole competition, i was
giving the super dao and zhuai face to
almost everyone. Even when i commanded
the squad etc. So much till the extent maybe
some ppl thought i was arrogant.

I don't know why i don't care anymore.
Perhaps the passion is almost gone.
That i didn't even cry or feel that happy
when the results were announced, or
even when Mr Chia came to look for me
with baby Dylan to congratulate me.
That i didn't feel really upset that we
lost count during our performance.
Why???

Maybe i was just too tired to think.
That my brain stopped working
after the Preliminary round was
over. When i hugged ma'am Xinyu
who was in her VI uniform, OUR VI,
with that silver trohpy in my hands.
We achieved sth more than a COP.
Yet yesterday was just like another
day. I couldn't bring myself to smile at
all after the Preliminary round. But i could
definitely see everyone's efforts, when they
broke down and cried when Chanel ma'am
announced Group 6 - Ang Mo Kio Secondary
has achieved the 1st runner up in North District
and is qualified to enter the national round.

They are the future leaders. Its their turn
to take the initiative. To make sure our
tiny little unit doesn't get bullied, or looked
down upon. We must regain our past glory,
where we are the victorious AMKSS. My
faith in you guys shall slowly build up, just
make sure you don't do anything to make me
stop believing in you.

NFC 2008 has finally passed. I bet you guys
are happy that you won't ever need to stay back
every monday to practise, ain't i right? Well,
our time as an NCO is almost up. Did we fufil
what we were entrusted to do?

2008-02-11T20:39:00.000+08:00

Its 5 more days to FootDrill Competition.
I'm already getting the jitters. Sigh.

Full dress rehearsal today. It was kind
of a letdown though. Gahhh, I guess I
expected too much again. Luckily Mrs
Chan agreed for another trng on wednesday,
else we'd all be dead.

Tried practising in the parade square,
gosh, couldn't really co-ordinate the
bangings and armswings etc. Sigh, again.

After trng came the punishments. That was
the 'fun' part. Did half squat for 10 minutes.
Ended up the whole squad had shaking legs.
But it was then we reminisced.

We used to do half squat occassionally as
punishment, there was this once where
right after doing half squat, we had to do
footdrills, Combined Uniform Group
footdrills. Imagine your legs shaking like
jelly after which you still have to do footdrill!
But I have to admit, its kinda cool la. That
induces the endurance, and fighting spirit.
The passion, the 'One for All, All for One'
motto. I Love Red Cross. =)

Oh, and after the 10 minutes half squat,
we ran with Vivian. She ran 6 rounds,
we ran 4. Good enough okay! Vivian,
aren't you touched? To have the ma'ams
run with you! Haha!
Anyway, i 'sense' that our unit is getting
more and more bonded. Ah, but then again,
we're stepping down soon.

FDC's the last competition for us, the
'WONDERFUL' NCOS!
Ha! Cadets, make our dream come true
and give Edna a wonderful birthday okay!
=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

2008-02-10T11:33:00.000+08:00

Happy cny !
And so, this time every year
means going back to Penang
to bai nian.

Oh, I so love my cousins =)
And I learned how to play
mahjong! Haha, but of course,
no money involved.

Its good to be with family.
Man, I feel super slack now.
Guess i'll have to run more
and do more pt when I
return.

Anyway, its SIX more days
to FDC. I feel I'm gonna faint.

2008-02-02T16:41:00.000+08:00

And so, another week has passed.
Common tests almost everyday,
Its really taxing, esp when there's
2 tests in a day.

Every monday there's FDC trng.
Every tuesday there's study session.
Every wednesday there's piano.
Every thursday, i'm glad there's nth on.
Every friday there's training.
Every saturday, i get to slp like a pig.
Every sunday there's tuition.

Week by week passes.
FDC's on 16 feb. have faith!
I guess we can do it.

Yesterday was normal trng.
Sec 1s came. The number was
satisfying.

However, having
a bigger number of cadets
might mean that the standard
will drop? I hope not.

Now, amkss RCY is a multi-racial
ug. We also have a guy. That calls
for a celebration, doesn't it? But
that also means we all have to learn
the guys way of doing pumpings;
NCOs included.

Oh, and, the incorporation of
guys pumpings into our trngs
began yesterday. Seems a good
way to train up our endurance.
I believe that as time passes, we
will all get used to it.

Hey all, don't you find the bus bay
a very memorable place? The bus
bay's a place where every generation
of cadets grow up and wake up.

Numerous sessions of undesired
naggings took place there. One day,
every single one of you will come
to know. To know that it ain't easy
to maintain not only your own
passion but your jnrs' passion as
well, to endure the stress, to groom
the jnrs, to wake them up, to take over.

One day. Believe in karma, cause
it does happen. As according to
the rest, karma's just the IN thing now.
But it will really happen, when
you finally understand what its
like to be - disappointed.

Other than achieving sth for FDC,
my last wish from amkss RCY is
to be able to have a good
Passing-Out-Parade and an
unforgettable farewell party.

Lets just take it as we've nvr really
earned your respect, and that
we're just a bunch of drama kiddos.

I want to step down, soon.

2008-01-21T20:49:00.000+08:00

took some pics from sam's blog.

sec 1 orientation camp was fun, cause we are the

UGLs, and are entitled to slack. seeing those

sec 1s brought back the old memories. like how

'toot' we used to be.(:

however, back then, we were much more well

behaved, less daring, less outspoken. sec 1s these

days..they would never understand again. sigh...

anyway, this camp's main 'attraction' is the campfire.

the campfire that raynor and the rest planned so

hard for.

the morale of the sec 1s was initially low, but with

the help of the OGLs and emcees, the sec 1s perked

up abit, and started to get hyper. halfway through,

the fire suddenly died, got all of us so nervous as to

what to do. but the npcc had quick reaction time, &

got the fire back up in fast time. towards the individual

class performance time, it started to rain. all the UGLs

were already on standby, just waiting for Raynor to

shout for cat 1 or sth. then had to bring canteen

benches up to the hall.

any idea how heavy a bench is? individually carry up

to the hall and all. so saikang can. not that we are so

weak that can't even carry a bench, but its so saikang!!!!

anyway, mr siva was super kind to treat us to

dinner-cum-supper at around 11 ++. 100 bucks yo!

anyway, the greens(that would be us, cause our tees

are green), walked to amk central macs, ate and chat.

went back to sch, patrolled around, enjoying amkss

at night. (:

bathed in cold water!!

'song bo?!'

'song ah!!!!!'

carried sofa into NPCC room, and all the

not-supposed-to-be-done stuff are all done! hahaha

don't think wrongly, its nth much!

after awhile, kapo rc room's stretcher and brought it

into parade square. crapped with barrie, desmond and

sam. in the end, slept 1 hour only.

next morning, woke up hald dead. but the consolation

was that, while others were having lessons, we were

at bishan park slacking away. sec 1 classes did not come till

much later though.

speaking about sec 1s, they totally made us shout like shit.

esp the station masters. sec 1s these days..*shakes head*

after all the classes left, we could go!! went to RC HQ to collect

badges! i've now got full house and 1 extra badge!! wheeee

okay, i feel i'm beginning to more hardworking!

:D bye ppl!

2008-01-20T23:00:00.000+08:00

Rascal Flatts
What Hurts The Most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

(Not seeing that loving you)
That’s what I was trying to do

2008-01-20T00:37:00.000+08:00

more memories. (:

2008-01-19T22:09:00.000+08:00

CCAO

2008-01-11T22:21:00.001+08:00

you won't understand; don't even
bother to imagine how i felt.
that humiliation, i couldn't bear.
i'm sorry, perhaps i ain't as capable
as you all are.

but i am who i am, that won't change.
and we do what we feel's right.
i'm sorry and thank you.

2008-01-11T21:07:00.000+08:00

today, all i can say is that i'm disappointed.
disappointed in my cadets
disappointed in their behaviour
disappointed in the number of new sec 1s
disappointed at how they wear their uniform
disappointed in how others view us
disappointed in myself.

however, i could at least see some passion.
that look in their eyes that i can't forget.
we'll be letting go soon,
will they make us proud?
will they uphold our unit's name?
will they uphold the meaning behind the emblem?
will they have more respect for us?
will they learn?
will they be independent?
and the most important, will they show the
rest our strength? our unity?

cadets, you all are my pride, glory, and joy.
we(ncos) have groomed you into who you
are today. please don't let us down. we have
trained you so hard, and our efforts are
paying off, bit by bit. your bangings are
improving. you bang as one!

our past footdrill motto was
'one soft united bang is better than one loud machine gun bang'

now our motto can be changed, cause
we have done better. i'm proud of you
for that! we will win 2nd runner up in FDC.

we...........come from RED CROSS
famous in all UG.
we come from a famous grp called RED CROSS.
we fight for our glory, we fight for our victory,
we fight with a spirit never seen before.
RED CROSS RED CROSS all the way!
we like it here we like it there we found
ourselves a home, a home,
HOME SWEET HOME! *bang*

stepping down with pride.
don't belittle us, we'll outshine you.

2008-01-05T18:05:00.000+08:00

rrooaarrr, my attempts to blog always fail.
anw, today ccao. damn rush and last min,
scare the daylights out of us when they said
our HOLY ambulance wouldn't arrive. ncos all
got so worked up, and the sec 3s were silently
anxious. afterall, this is their performance.

when the ambulance finally arrived, qh and i
were there to direct the ambulance to its parking
spot. she cheered like to no ones business. felt
super relieved too la. then comes the rushing part,
before the performances start.

a lil' bit of cock up abt performance time, cause
ambulance came late. so, waited till the other
CCAs all finished their performance before we
started ours. as according to planned, i was situated
in the ambulance with alvin sir and bettina ma'am.
felt my heart rate increasing rapidly as the ambulance
drove smoothly and smartly down the heavy metal ramps
that kind-hearted ugians helped us to move.
everything happened so fast, that the ambulance was
barely in the limelight for more than a mere minute.
i guess everyone was stunned by our performance.

anyway, after that was the class by class to booth time!
i was stationed at the ambulance with alvin sir. learned
evac gold & how to push the stretcher up the ambulance
as well as demo to the over-excited and impatient little
KIDDOS. they are seriouslt kiddos okay, look at the way
they play and everything.

and so meanwhile, yf and a few others verbally explained
to them all the happenings in rc. yiling and the other few
were 'baking' under the sun, trying to cook the sausages
and other foods.

let me tell you, being the ambulance crew is damn not
easy alright! trying to load and unload the stretcher left
blisters on my palm. actually, the stretcher is damn light
one, its the casualty that's heavy. tremendous strength is
needed. i think i cocked- up with that stretcher thing, almost
injured xinyu and weilin. i'm apologetic. heh. anyway, learnt
sth new, and i'm glad about it. (:

and and!!!, guys did enrol okay!! i'm so glad!!!! we're gonna
have guys, hopefully. heh, i think this year is a success. and
even though it was done super last minute, the presence of
the ambulance just changed everything. and thanks to the
help of alvin sir, bettina ma'am, seniors xinyu, weilin and kexin,
i guess we will have more enrolment this year. but i hope these
students will understand that we weren't conning them to
join. its just, performance. sigh, we aren't conning them.

anyway, good job sec 3s. your next agenda is to complete your
ice breaker proposal. good luck!

gosh, another thing to add. i'm not scandalous, and there's nothing
much abt the peak cap thing to tease me abt. so conclusion
is, there's nothing gg on!!! :D

and school starts again tmr! its gonna be another hectic
week. sighhhhhhhhhhhh.

2007-12-26T21:48:00.000+08:00

i miss Ms Poon.

2007-12-16T18:48:00.000+08:00

okay, bravo outing. super happy to meet up
with them, i dont' know why. felt relaxed and
just, err happy. =) watched golden compass
with sl, sh, hy, aaron & farhan sir. the ending
of the show was !@#$%^&. probably cause
there would be another show. inside the
cinema was super cold, and imagine me
holding my full rc uniform and boots.

after movie we rushed to cityhall mrt.
met the rest, and headed to seoul garden.
it was quite funny at first, when we tried
to avoid eye contact with SOME PEOPLE.
heh, so siling and i, retardedly pretended
to count the number of eggs on the tray.
super retarded and stupid!
when we went to our seats, things got even
funnier. we picked the side with less sirs,
ended up sitting with shaf, jeannie, karin,
sh, hy, farhan sir and mas ma'am. it was super
funny, cause everyone was high and hyper,
esp shaf. when cooking the food, we were all
NOOBS, dont' know how to cook, and some
like don't know how to use chopsticks, so
the food ended up flying around.
strands of noodles, sausages and blah blah
went all around the table.

and not to mention, after eating one small
plate of spaghetti, i felt super super full,
that both siling and i were trying so hard
to push the remaining spaghetti on our
plates into our mouths. siling commented
that our spaghetti was the most expensive
spaghetti ever. heh, and some ppl, just have
super huge appetite. their stomachs, like a
bottomless pit. heh, kept eating and eating,
eat their $23 dollars worth. haha,

after that, went esplanade to 'chill'.
relived rcyc. by bathing in the wind!, very
cooling up there, talked and played games,
aww, i love it! =D at 10.30, ys sir said that
we were kids and have to go home early,
so we all left. took same train as siling, aaron,
shaf, ys sir and kr sir. siling dragged shaf
to our train. haha, shaf lives in cck, super
duper far away from esplanade. hahaha, so
when siling and aaron got off at tpy, shaf and
me were left to face the 2 sirs. all we could do
was smile. heh. poor shaf, cause i left her with the
2 sirs when i alighted at khatib. but according
to her, nothing happened. she's super lucky! =DD

anyway, that's all la, nothing much, just super
happy to meet all of them again.

currently watching romantic princess, its hilarious!
but crunchyroll seems to have numerous users,
so the show loads very slow. sigghh, holidays are
ending soon. the last week's gonna be hectic!
i hope we can give edna the best birthday present!

2007-12-07T22:04:00.000+08:00

no one tagged!!
heartbreakkkkkkk! =(

2007-12-07T21:39:00.000+08:00

okay and so malaysia's just fine. just a lil' bit boring,
there's seriously nth that is very entertaining here.
and everyday i live the life of a pig. of course, this
pig is on her lappy for like morning till night every
day. but that's because its the only source of
entertainment alright.

everyday has been msn-ing with bravo peeps.
but its still as interesting, cause everyday has
new topics. that's the only good part, but there's
bad parts too. and make me want to roar.
ROOOAAARRR. -.- okay, no link.

sometimes, these conversations are kind of
no point. but we still engage in them, for
no reason. lol.

okay why am i typing this? because
i have nothing better to do. sighhhh,
i wonder how's training and everything
back there. i hope cadets have been
rather guai, and not giving the ncos and
alvin sir any extra trouble. =DD joking la,
i think they're much better than that. hah,
i need entertainment now!!

nvm, i'll talk to siling and khee rui sir. =))

2007-12-03T09:27:00.000+08:00

alright, serious case of nostalgia. i'm not trying to be like ahem ahem sir,
but i seriously miss rcyc. gosh, okay currently i ain't in singapore. but
i miss the mornings where we would be half awake, forced to wake up
else we would be late. oh my gosh, i miss it all, i miss the camp!

2007-11-30T22:20:00.000+08:00

+ ; #16 jellyfish says:
no there's really someone called chanel i think.
+ ; #16 jellyfish says:
my sch have
yilin best division. says:
but chanel!?!?!
+ ; #16 jellyfish says:
i think the ma'am's name is spelt like that also
+ ; #16 jellyfish says:
YES!!
yilin best division. says:
isit?!
+ ; #16 jellyfish says:
CHANEL
+ ; #16 jellyfish says:
yes
+ ; #16 jellyfish says:
!!
yilin best division. says:
gosh!
+ ; #16 jellyfish says:
maybe one day there'll be a gucci

okay, i'm random. (:

2007-11-29T00:47:00.000+08:00

ULs,

aaron
emily
sherlyn
shafwaty
siling
derong
ashraf
n me

to lead and serve with pride

2007-11-28T16:28:00.000+08:00

alrighty, RED CROSS YOUTH CHALLENGE camp.
definitely to challenge ourselves to achieve. i guess
it was some sorta reliving OBS days. same kinda
stuff, all aiming towards the goal of getting a lanyard.
but during these 4d3n, it wasn't just to get the lanyard.
okay, maybe half of the effort went into trying to get the
lanyard, but the other half was to put in the best, so that
all of us would enjoy this camp to the fullest. this camp
would probably be the last HQ camp that we sec 3s would
be attending, next yr is O lvls alr.

apart from all the muscle aches and backaches and
leg strains, i gained friends. friends like them, thank you
so much for being there with me, for gg through the
embarrassing moments with me as well. xDD you guys
are the true leaders, you guys really cared & you guys
LEAD & SERVE with PRIDE!

anyway, the camp goes like this. there are 8 stations,
namely dragonboat, archery, first aid/evac, general station,
mountain biking, street soccer, rock climbing/abseiling &
challenge rope course. complete 6 out of 8 stations, go through
campfire, pass national heritage trail & you get your lanyard.

dragonboat was fun, esp capsizing, even though we all heard
abt 5 singaporeans who died during the cambodia race.
disaster preparedness was great as well, and its kinda hilarious
to see everyone so chaotic. oh and my first aid has gone all rusty,
i need to refresh my memory already. haha i also have to apologise
to one ma'am, cause i took out both her shoe lace to immobilize her legs
together. aye, its just damn unforgettable. =))
& archery was a disaster, being a left hander, i got left hander treatment.
haha, basically i just used the left hander bow la, haha chee yong sir
was very nice. =)) taught me how to shoot properly. but i still didn't pass.
moutain biking was damn cool. rode at pulau ubin, very super rocky.
steep & mountainous area. had to get down and push the bike a few times.
it was very energy draining. lixuan ma'am was kind enough to keep checking
on our welfare. mas ma'am looked very cute on her bike, i think its too short
for her.
street soccer, was quite alright, just normal. all in bravo were sorta
inexperienced. we all don't play soccer. =x
rock climbling/abseiling & rope challenge course was just normal,
except for that embarrassing thing. heh, secret. =)

and CAMPFIRE!! its was just simply the best!
all thanks to lawrence sir, it was very successful!
even though it rained and we had to move into
the tiny n visibly dirty canteen. everyone was uncomfortable
with the squeezy place and sandy ground. eew. but the
performance n cheers made us HIGH!
BRAVO was great, lilo n stitch rocks!
oh and, ULs performance wasn't bad either. it just bonded
us ULs as one. heh, i guess to the audience we were just
singing a boring song, but to ULs, it was more than a song,
it was something not to be forgotten.

and the last night, shaf, siling n myself were asked to
collect all the dockets. n we sorta got scolded by wenfang
ma'am, cause it was late n they haven't bathe(we also haven't)
so they hurried us, but again, its unforgettable.
after finishing our tasks of collecting everyone's dockets,
the 3 of us, stood under 1 bunk, n just felt the breeze. aww
man, its just like bathing in the wind. we wrote words
in the sand, n for a few moments, just stood there to
reminisce the past few days together. haha, n it was funny
to see how every sir that walked past us, asked us why we
were still there. they would ask the standard qns, n we
would answer the standard answer.

after getting our fair share of the wind, we returned to
the ULs bunk. where we slept without bathing, like eew
right. but we woke up at 4 to bathe ma, same thing. just
that its a few hours later. it was freezing cold just to stand
there, what more bathing in the COLD water.

so being the last day at camp, we did area cleaning.
shortage of brooms, and mops. after that was done,
we returned to hq to prepare for heritage trail.
it seemed quite fun, with all the stuff to collect
n all the checkpoints to conplete. but the rain
ruined it all. we were stuck at the 2nd station, with
nicholas sir and xiao yuan ma'am. it was kinda sad
coz rain made us emo. haha. jkjk, we it was time well spent.
the whole section 1 n 2. awww. after the rain gradually
lessened, we returned to hq. had prize presentation
and it was emo time. time to say gdbye. so sad.
BRAVO won lanyard for its flag. its damn cool la,
n shaf and me were elated, cause we didn't disappoint
our mentors. then lanyard receipients' names
were mentioned. those who received, beamed with joy.
those who didn't, sobbed in sorrow. its sad, and not
only not receiving lanyard, u have to leave the new found
friends u've just made.

so hey BRAVO,
i won't forget all of you, neither will i forget the cheers
we had, and all the times we bathed in the OPEN
CONCEPT shower just like that, and all the times we ate
together, slept together, worked together and played
together. i miss it all.

one day we will meet again! till then, take care okay,
all of you!

eeyore

Leona Lewis American Idol Performance

♫ Martina Mcbride-Concrete Angel *With Lyrics!*♫

♫ Martina Mcbride-Concrete Angel With Lyrics!♫